I grew up in the midst of boys, the last child from a family of four which Included my late dad, my mum and my big bro. Well, we had cousins who were boys that was living with us. So most of the times, I felt lonely because I couldn't play with them. To think that they were far older than me and you know back in the day, age was a big deal. My bro will tell me to go and sleep because the games they were playing was for Big boys. It made me sad most of the times and made me vulnerable as I grew up lonely and sad.
Fast forward to today, I am a mother of a very beautiful girl. And guess what? I am trying so hard to make her live a life void of loneliness and sadness. She is just a year old and I plan giving birth to another as soon as I can. I know it sounds funny but I saw loneliness and I know what I went through as a child. I wouldn't want my daughter to grow up that way. Because my bro was far older than me, he hardly played with me. But if my kids grow together with no much age gap, then they will be no need for anyone to be sad and lonely at all.
Apart from being sad and lonely, I was stopped from playing with my fellow classmates or visit them. Imagine when my big cousin will permit me to go and visit my school mate who was living in the next compound, he would spit on the ground and tell me to be back before it dries. >How on earth was he expecting me to get there fast and return without the spit drying up? To me, that was the height of wickedness.
But guess what? I would run as fast as my legs will carry me to my friends house and immediately I just see her, I will hug her and run back home with the same speed. Sometimes I got a knock on my head for returning after the spit had dried up. Other times, I would prefer the knock than the words that will be said to me. So this made me become so reserved as a child. I stayed away from friends purposely because they was no need having one when I couldn't visit them.
This training made it difficult for me to mix with my peers which I want to ensure that wouldn't be the case for my children. I learnt some things when I eventually started mixing with my friends as an adult and these were the things that should have been avoided if I had my family close to me to teach me instead of learning from outsiders.
From the part of my mum,she was always busy with work and barely had time to have mother and daughter time. As a mother, I want to be different from my mum and ensure that my daughter(s) are my best friend, likewise my sons. Good a thing I married a man who understands that parenting is a collective effort between parents. So we talked about this and we know that we will be close to our children and not let work come in between us.
For my children, there are some things that I will not let them do. And that's holding gadgets before they get into the university. With the plenty things I see young people do these days, I am not sure I want my children to be exposed to social media too soon . So many immorality is going on in the world these days and "I am so sorry my beloved kids, you won't have access to it until you get into the university". Yea, you can call me old school but I am not ready to start having wayward children too soon.
I think parenting itself is a lot of work. It is easier to say i will do this and that but then, just like my husband said, it is a collective effort by parents to raise a good home. And to be a parent requires you being disciplined. Because it is your footstep that most likely, your kids will follow.
There also things that I will never allow to happen to any of children and that is being sexually molested. As a child I was molested and didn't even get enough protection from my family. I will fight whoever will try that nonsense with any of my children. I will never allow that to happen to any of them. I will protect them with my last blood and never ever let them down.
Thank you for reading
