"When the right hand washes the left, the right also get cleaned."
I remember that the above statement was common around me when growing up. It can be likened to the popular saying that two good heads are better than one. I have always known right from my childhood that true friendship has a way of adding value to the lives of the parties involved. I am not talking about friends whose point of unification tends towards negativity.
As far as friendship is concerned, it defies the law of magnetism that states that the north Pole attracts the south pole nor that of charges that states that positive charge attracts negative charges. My experience over the years proved to me that positive charge in friendship attracts positive charge while the negative charge also attracts its counterparts. In any case where a form of attraction exists between the north and south poles of friendship, one would try and influence the other to transform into its state. This is where peer influence comes in especially among young people.
My mother was passionate in making me understand this fact while growing up. She encouraged me to be open minded to people that I meet. She made me understand that if I walked alone, I might go far but if I walked with like minds, I would go far. I held on to this to relate with people that I meet at every stage of my life.
While I was growing up, I had two friends and the three of us were popularly referred to as a three stoned kitchen that doesn't pour away soup. We understood one other to the extent that we could defend one another in the absence of the accused. I learned loyalty at that phase of my life. I realized that friendship is more than just laughing and eating together. It entails watching the back of each other.
If I call someone my friend, I try as much as possible to remember the good old memories whenever misunderstanding occurs between us. This is where many friendships collapse. When there is a problem, the friend let lose everything, forgetting the good old days.
There was a time that a friend of mine manipulated me and defrauded me of some amount of money. The experience was unexpected and painful. I was very angry. At the peak of the anger, I started reflecting on our journey right from when we met. I remember countless good things that he did to me in the past. I found a place in my heart to accept his apology and forgave him. It wasn't an easy decision but at the end of the day, I am glad that I did give the friendship another chance. Today, he is still sorry for that particular mistake that happened about five years ago.
The question at this stage is how often do I make a friend like this?
The answer is that it takes time before I can take someone as my friend. Before I call you my friend, I must know you beyond reasonable doubt. If I have a little doubt about someone, becoming friends will be difficult.
On my own part, I try as much as possible to be open to people that I call my friend. I expect people that I am close to to scrutinize me just the way I scrutinize others.
Due to the meticulous process of knowing someone before being friends with him or her, my circle of friends is very few. Once I take you as my friend, there is a part of my heart that I keep you. You are safe from betrayal in that abode.
My friends are very few and I love it that way. I am friendly to all around me. On a normal day, you may think that everyone around me is my friend. I need to separate my love for humanity generally from taking someone as a friend. If I call you my friend, my secret should be safe with you and yours safe with me. Of course, I can't trust random people that I meet at every point.
Before you get into me as a friend, I should be confident of my safety physically, emotionally and socially.
I prefer having a few friends that we can stand for one another at every point in time.