I will start this piece with a popular song by Ebenezer Obey, legendary Yoruba musician.
In the song, he explained the encounter of a man, his son and their horse with the people of the world.
The man set out on a journey with his son and both of them climbed the horse. They met someone that complained that both of them were too heavy for the horse. He wondered if they wanted to kill the horse.
The man dropped from the horse leaving his son on it. They met someone again that complained about the man trekking whereas his more energetic son was riding the horse.
In his efforts to please the people, the son alighted from the horse while the man climbed. They met yet another person that complained about the man punishing his son while he enjoys the ride.
At this point, the man and the son trekked while the horse was moving with them and the last person they met laughed his ass out. He wondered why the man and son were trekking while the horse was empty.
Ebenezer concluded the song by stating that whatever you do in life, you can't please everyone. It is better to please yourself and be happy.
I have come to realize that the major cause of pressure is when someone is trying to measure up to impress people. When you allow people to determine what your trajectory should be, you would be striving to meet up with such. In some cases, you pressurized yourself to live the life that some friends expected you to live.
I have faced some situations where I was pressured by family and friends to achieve something.
A few years ago, I was pressured to get married. Different opinions with some telling me how marriage opens the door of success. Whenever I attended any of my friends' weddings, many of them would tell me that I should be the next to marry. That was like five years before I eventually got married when I was ready.
The irony is that when I finally informed them of my wedding, what I received most was verbal goodwill. I wasn't really disturbed because I did my wedding when I was prepared to do it. However I thought of what would have been my fate if I had yielded to people's opinion earlier.
Even at the wedding that I did, some people complained that it wasn't elaborate enough. They wanted me to please them in that regard and displease myself. They didn't mind if I ran into debt to do the kind of wedding that they envisaged for me.
Nine months after the wedding, we welcomed our handsome son. Since his arrival, we have been trying our best to give him the best care and attention and I feel that I am not doing enough as a father. I have wished and prayed to have the opportunity to give my children the kind of beautiful life that I was never privileged to live. In order to achieve this aim, my wife and I decided to rest for a few years in order to find our footings financially before welcoming another baby. This decision is what people are trying to pressurize us to reconsider now.
I have started hearing questions such as, "what are you waiting for?" Some would tell me that my son needed a younger sibling as soon as possible so that he would have someone to play with. People are telling my wife the same thing. We were told to rush them and rest.
Many opinions that people want us to live by without minding what our choices and preferences are. They care less about the resources to raise a large family.
Just like Ebenezer Obey advised in his song, I don't allow myself to be controlled haphazardly to please people. I take it that whatever I do, we have people that won't be pleased with it. As a result, I do what pleases me and I don't allow criticism of such steps get at me.
Having this at the back of my mind, I don't feel pressured to do the biddings of others. Whatever the pressure is, I successfully wave it off and concentrate on actualizing my dreams.