There was a time I felt like I was above eighty years of age, whereas I was still in my twenties, I do get pills to use, pills upon pills kept rolling. Stomachache, headache, weakness,and all began to set in. I visited the hospital at a time and I was told it was nothing serious, just caused by maybe stress and anxiety, they wrote their prescriptions as well, a long list of medications as if I was to go shopping. I bought it, but the more I kept taking it, the more unalive I felt, I was still living, but even I know I ain't well yet know and they kept writing prescriptions like they were writing shopping lists. But the more I took, the less alive I felt. I was not whole.
One morning, after another night of no sleep and a fresh dosage already awaiting me on my table, I did something... something crazy, it was my day off, so there's no work, I got up, took some cups of water and I head out to take a walk.
I wore a simple slippers, a three quarter short and a somehow faded shirt, then I started my journey. I left my phone at home, it was just me and me alone. It was still very early in the morning and most of the shops in the street we're just opening. I didn’t have a plan before leaving home, no destination, just walk and that walk did something to me. I did see life outside of myself and my problems, I greeted people, I smiled at them, I saw children rushing in and out preparing for school. This all was something I hadn't seen/experienced/done in a very long time.
On my way back home, I went to take another street that leads back home as well, I saw Mama Yetunde the provision seller, we call her jack of all, she sells anything and everything, well I didn't brach by to buy anything, I just sat down on one of the benches in front of her shop, as she was also busy arranging her wares while also gisting me. When I got back home, I cleaned and took my bath, I also ate real food that day, not the regular biscuit or puff puff, and drinks I often take, I took my time to cook for myself, later in the day, I called my brother and we discussed things that weren't important but made us laugh out loud. That might, I slept like a baby, I didn't even wake up in the midnight as I often do....My pills were there staring at me.
From then onwards, I started making little changes. I stopped taking anyhow food, I now drink more of kunu, soya milk snd the likes, I rest a lot, I take my mind off things that seems to want to take the best part of me by getting myself busy somehow, I also take evening walks more regularly, while reducing my on-screen time.
I began noticing changes as well, the more I change and do certain things, the more The more my body, soul and mind responded. The stomachache reduced, the headache stopped and even my heart became calm. I was no longer scared, and I stopped relying much on pills silence. There are times I don't even take any drug for weeks, that was unlike me.
Funniest part is, even people started noticing these changes, they started asking if I had changed job, was using a different cream, if I just got weed secretly, there reason was that...I am glowing differently. The answer to all is a no, I only do normal/regular things....I take water, I walk, I say no to things that stress/bother me, I laugh more, and I give myself a lot of rest.
The doctors really meant well, but my need wasn’t more drugs. I only needed more of me, I needed the version of me that I now find now , that version of me that choose peace over everything else and appreciate even the little things.
Presently, I have a lot of expired pills , some are even untouched, they are there sitting in my drawer. Even though there are still times I take medications, reason being that I have been a victim of multiple/several surgeries, you will very well agree with me, that there are times there will be sure need for it, but there has been a huge difference, I no longer take pills everyday like I do before, I no longer rush to the hospital week in, week out, because I had found healings and peace in me being human again.
All pictures are mine.
Thanks for taking your time to read through, kindly do well to stop by my blog for more amazing, educative and exclusive contents.