As humans, when it comes to discipline, our ways/methods can be different. When my mum tries to coreect me at times she stares at me, its a diffent kind of look, one that sends chills down my spine. Discipline wasn’t a joking matter in my home. My parents believed in the saying, "Spare the rod and spoil the child." Though they believed in correction, they still try to balance it with love and understanding.
Firstly, I have come to understand and learn that discipline shouldn’t just be about punishment, it should be about teaching. There was a time my cousin took some money from my sisters purse, my cousin was staying with us then, he took the money without permission and thought my sister wouldn't know, well she eventually got to know and asked, she was angry though and I expected her to talk harshly while raining abuses on him but she didn't, instead she sat him down to ask why he did such, he hesitated at first, but later he spoke and said it was because he do feel left out when his classmates buy stuffs during break in school. She was calm with him and made him understand the importance of contentment, why stealing was wrong and how it would damage his character. The only punishment she gave was for him to do extra chores the next day.
Sometimes, kids do the wrong things for reasons we don’t understand until we ask. It’s more easier to flare up and get angry and want to beat some sense into those children, but we should wait to rethink becsue most times we discipline out of frustration whereas the real goal should be to shape their character and break them. I agree that kids can be annoying, and the urge to lash their buttocks is always there, but if we are not careful, we will hurt them emotionally, and that wont without solve the problem.
You don't spare the rod completely, there are times words don't help and a little spanking here and there work. But then, it shouldn't be done with rage/anger. Though, it sounds impossible, we always want to beat/discipline immediately happens, but it do help, to calm down first and not act out of frustration.
Also, the other side of discipline is making sure a mistake is not being repeated. You don't just punish and move on while hoping they have learnt their lessons. Have a talk with the child after discipline or any form of punishment, tell them why you punished them, let them know the consequence of what they have done, let them know it was a show of love and why they shouldn't repeat such again. Also, when a child does something good, we rarely appreciate or reward them, but when they so something wrong we are quick to punish, trying to be appreciative when they did good things will not make them feel unloved when you punish them for doing something that is punishable also.
My little brother was broke a ceramic plate while doing the house chores. My mum wanted to talk harshly to him, but I quickly intervened, it wasn't intentional of him to do such, he only wanted to help, she should appreciate his willingness to work and let him know he should be careful while doing certain house chores. The way my mum talked and encouraged him pushed him to keep on helping and would always ask for help each time he wants to handle or carry something fragile. .
While handling out discipline, there's the need to communicate. Sincerely, children need to know the reason behind correction, they don't understand everything and most times think we are going overboard. Talk to them, ask questions, and listen, they will definitely open up.
Children's at times tends to test our limits, they want to do and see, so there's the need to be firm but fair. Let them know your expectations and the consequences of not meeting them. That way, they wil think twice before repeating the same mistake.
Everyone is still learning, we are all a work in progress, even as parents, we don't know it all. What works for one child may not work for another, so the goal remains molding them into responsible and respectful individuals.
Discipline is guiding, correcting and teaching, raising kids who knows and understand right from wrong. If we do it right, we will raise individuals who will do and act well even when we are not there to watch over them.