Well, back then in school, I had this lady I promised I wouldn’t leave, well we promised each other, promised thstt no matter how tough things get, we will go through it together. And sincerely, I/we meant it, it wasn’t just words.
She happens to be my first love, and I loved her wholeheartedly, we met in school, we were in same department, our first meeting wasn't so good as we said some odd words to each other, we were grouped together then for a seminar, and she kept disagreeing with all of our suggestions, but along the line, I found out she was a beautiful soul, we started out as friends and then...I shoot my shot.
I promised to carry her dreams together with mine, but then life happened. I was still in school when everything started to change. I had a health crisis and everything went someway, I couldn't do what I was doing for her before, I was not there for her, and of a truth, she stood by me despite it all, all what I saved up went into drugs and medications.
Along the line, I became distant, she became distant too, my reason was because I know the plans had gone awry already, I had to stop school, I can't really meet up for now, I need time to heal, and her reason also was because her mum wasn't in support anymore... maybe cause of my sickness. I could see it in her eyes, it wasn't convenient or easy for her as well, but she was the only female child of her family.
We had promised each other forever, but here's life tugging me in different directions I didn’t plan/prepare for. And just like that, we broke up, the calls reduced, the visitations reduced, no more I miss you and we drifted apart, we arw still friends now though, cause she's someone I really held dear, the fact that she could stay with me during those periods, she would even skip class to come stay with me in the hospital, thats not something to forget.
So, I had to let her go, it should come from me, I couldn't fulfill the promises anymore. Now, she's moved on, yeah, I can't help but be happy for her, she's a good lady and she deserves better, I understood her perfectly.
Of a truth, she really did not want to succumb to her family pressure, she gave me options of things I can do, and they won't have options but to let go, but I can't. Maybe my reason was justifiable, I can't say, but I carried the guilt, I broke her and I broke myself.
After I had gotten better, I returned back to school, and during my final semester, we were to submit our project, but I wasn't around, so before leaving I had dropped my file for a friend of mine to help submit which he promised to, and I did trust him.
I returned to find out he didn’t submit it, and he doesn't even have a tangible reason. I explained it all to my lecturer, I told him the reason, even gave him proof that I had to undergo a bedrest and that was why, still he didn't bend, he said I could have called him directly or told him ahead or even give a friend to help submit, of which I did that. Well, for the first time I had to carry over a course, I was really pained, I had vowed to go through the five year without a carry over, but here is it.
It really pained me, I had to carry over a course because a trusted friend broke his promise.
Well, maybe a broken promise can be justified, I can't really say, but what I know is that life has a way of pushing us into making certain decisions we did not plan to. And no matter how small a promise is, it is weighty, they tend to hold and at the same time can shatter a heart as that is where it lives... in the heart.
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