Competition is what cannot be overlooked as far as life is concerned. We compete in everything. Business owners compete, students do the same, co-workers compete, and even siblings compete. We all compete one way or the other; that’s just a simple fact. I don’t see competition as something bad. Instead, I see it as a motivation to the competitors—if they understand it.
Personally, competition has helped me grow, learn, and become a bad and good version of myself, and I’m going to share how soon. Some people tend to handle competition the wrong way, and that is when it becomes toxic.
I remember my secondary school days. We knew the word "competition" but didn’t know when it was healthy and when it was getting out of hand. I wanted to be at the peak, to be known as the most brilliant. I didn't want to be left behind. To me then, that was the definition of competition.
What would I call what happened between me and Grace? My rival then. She was very brilliant, bold, and always at the top. I wasn’t where she was, but I wasn’t behind either. She was a new student, and from the story we heard, she happened to come from one of the top schools.
At first, I admired how she was always answering every question right. Suddenly, I started being bothered for nothing. I started seeing Grace as a shine stealer. "We were all, I rather was, doing well until she came."
“What do you mean? Oh, Grace? She’s quite good, and I look up to her for that. Don’t you think we should make friends with her?” my friend asked.
“Are you out of your mind? Can’t she come make friends with us? Enough of this topic, please.”
My friend was shocked. I was no longer interested in reading to pass. I was all interested in just making sure I passed Grace.
I started a competition I don’t know if my rival was even aware of. Everyone noticed we were the two competitors in class. It was either I passed her by a mark, we drew, or she passed me.
I must say, the competition pushed me to read harder. It made my parents proud of my seriousness. I became a good listener in class, something I never used to do before, all because I wanted to be better than Grace.
When it turned unhealthy was when I was no longer happy, even if I had 70%. Once Grace had a higher score, I felt like mine was nothing but just a wasted effort. Like punishment, it kept happening, and my sadness kept piling up.
Until one day, when I had the highest score in our Economics examination. The whole class saw me as a genius because it was the toughest exam, and even those expected to be among the highest scorers didn’t do well either.
While they applauded me, all my focus was on Grace. I was eager to see what her reaction would be. I wanted her to feel defeated. Like she noticed it, she smiled and continued her clapping.
After school that day, she approached me, and her words changed my understanding of what the word "competition" means.
“I knew from day one you were scared of me, I didn't come here to play a win or lose game. I came here to be serious with my education and pass with good grades, I don't compete to become the best in class, I put my best effort to read and achieve my goals. You are making it look like we are rivals. We can compete together and still be good and still do well in our grades. Competition doesn’t have to be a do or die. I just said I should let you know that.”
That was when I knew that I was turning my own version of competition into enmity. While it was supposed to make me grow in a positive way, it was hurting me.
I went home, thought about what she said, and I realized I was making a mistake. I was draining myself psychologically because I wanted to compete with someone who I saw to be better than me.
In the end, I went to her the next day to make friends, and she was happy I saw meaning in what she told me. We started walking together, doing things together, setting goals before exams on what grade we wanted and how we were going to go about it. It was an amazing journey with Grace.