The series of events that led me to conclude something was wrong with me couldn't have come at a better time. It was at a time when I was unknowingly drifting towards the highest level of stupidity I ever experienced. Luckily for me, I managed to snap out of it because of unexpected circumstances. If I hadn't, I would've lost things that I will never be able to recoup.
On one good day some years back, my phone went off. That day, electricity was restored for just four hours in the early morning and snuffed out just as I was about to get out of bed. That wasn't a problem - in the first place - because I've gotten used to rationalized and epileptic power supply. That's why down here most people don't depend solely on power from the power company.
To charge my phone I turned to the next option which was to use the power bank. Well, it was useless because I already used it up the previous day and was supposed to charge it when the light was restored. At that moment, I slightly regretted not waking to charge my appliances when power was restored. Unfazed, I moved to the next option which was to on the power generating set. It will charge my phone and the power bank.
Funnily enough, my ever-reliable generator chose that day of all days to act crazy. Despite my best trial, the machine won't start and I was left very angry and frustrated. I called the regular guy who repairs it whenever it has issues, he was out of town. Being the kind of guy that doesn't go to the neighbours for anything, the immediate solution was to drop my phone at the nearest charging centre to boost the battery, which I did. It was after I dropped the phone that the real drama started.
On getting home without my phone, I noticed a wave of sadness descended on me. I became restless and uncoordinated. For minutes I walked around the house for no reason; I didn't know what I was doing. Then it occurred to me that I needed to eat, so I ate. While I was eating, I felt uncomfortable. After eating, it got worse because I felt completely useless. What could've caused this? Why am I feeling useless all of a sudden?
In recent years my dependence on my phone has increased. There was one day I checked my average screen time and the result was worrying, but in typical fashion, I was not bothered. How I wish I had heard that warning then because it could've saved me the horror I later faced.
It was the day I was forced to be away from my phone that I realized I was losing it. Firstly, my phone is my workstation. 80% of the remote work I do I use my phone. Heck, I even prefer typing on my phone to using the laptop. Secondly, I love to have my phone with me whenever I'm eating because that's when I browse through the funny and ridiculous things on social media. Bad habit, maybe, but that was why I felt hollow when I was eating and didn't have my phone on that fateful day.
Without my phone, I was nearly panicking. It was bad and I felt blank. I tried to get a book to read but couldn't concentrate because I was used to reading eBooks. I tried to write but couldn't because I prefer to think and type. I had to go back to bed and force myself to sleep. It was one of the saddest days of my life.
Out of nowhere, I snapped out of it. It felt like my brain was restarted. How did I get to this point where a gadget now rules my life? How did I become so addicted to my phone that I felt useless without it? That day I promised myself to stop this crazy addiction. When I got my phone back I didn't use it. I got myself a book and a pen and wrote some shit down. I started monitoring my screen time daily. The mission was simple which was to reduce screen time.
It took a while but I did it. Now, I can go for a whole day without my phone. I figured it out the hard way, but I figured it out anyway. And, I'm a better person for it.
