Some days ago, I wrote about forgiveness and how it concerns our well being to a large extent. Practicing self love is also forgiving others to do away with the burden that comes with being unforgiving. I have seen people suffer even more because they failed to forgive others wrong acts.
Honestly, there are cases that forgiveness can be very difficult to give. Like a case of one losing the life of a loved one or faced with a very heartbreaking situation and later the accused is asking to be forgiven. In such case, more effort is required from the wronged to forgive him or her.
Right from my childhood, I've been taught to forgive so I can please God and live well with my neighbors. Even though I didn't understand fully what all that meant, I never struggled to forgive who wronged me and I also think I never had great test of my forgiving spirit so I just forgive.
Forgiving And Forgetting Is Not A Package Deal.
Do I forget the wrongs people have done to me? I'd be lying if I say yes. No matter how little or big a situation is, it's not easy to forget them because that is how we have been designed to be... Humans (not robots). I've only seen people forget things about the past when they fall sick and have memory failure (mostly in the movies).
Forgiving is not same as forgetting what was forgiven, there is this saying in the Bible... "Be wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove". This holds a lot of lessons to our lives today and for the matter of forgiving, you're harmless forgiving others and you're wise to not let it happen again.
Just as it is for the Giver who never lacks as they are superior to receivers, Forgivers are more superiors to those being forgiven, it takes a lot to forgive and so we can't say it's a sign of weakness when someone forgives easily. One is free and happy when he or she forgives easily.
But can one forget what they say they have forgiven? No, it's not even possible. And sadly, a lot of people struggle to forgive others because they can't seem to forget what people did to them. They have to realize that they will never forget and so they should forgive and move on.
Not Forgetting & Moving On Don't Really Relate.
It's not pssoible to forget our pasts but it's very possible to live above it, live like it never happened and live better. That's how it should be when we forgive. Don't hold it against them but you should understand not to give them the chance to make such repeat itself another time.
When we forgive, we are giving ourselves that freedom that comes with not holding anything against anyone. But just as we tend not to forget a kindness someone did for us, we also can not forget a bad someone did but we can't always be reminding them and hurting them because of it.
Move on with your life and be wise to not fall prey of same situation again, that's the essence of not forgetting a wrong. We can't control what humans do but we can build ourselves to be able to hold strong when humans do the wrong things to us. But in essence, being forgiving help us win.
Image used is AI generated.