They never taught us this in school.
We learned how to solve for X, but no one told us how to build a network.
We memorised dates of wars and independence, but no one warned us that the real war in life is trying to stand alone in a world that moves in circles of people, of relationships, of connection.
School didn’t teach me that the people sitting beside me in class, on the hostel bunk, or during NYSC might end up becoming the very hands I’ll need to hold onto in the future.
But life taught me.
I had friends when I was in school but I was closer to two of them Motun and Stella.
We met in university. Same department. Sat side by side for lectures.We weren’t the loudest or most popular, but we shared a really close and intentional friendship.
Even after school, We kept in touch. Checked on each other. Shared wins and losses.
Fast forward to after Nysc, When I couldn’t get a job after NYSC, Stella who had just joined a small company told her manager about me. That’s how I was able to get my first job.
After some time I was able to really establish myself, started working online so I was always at home most times and most of my client are abroad. Stella reached out to me that she needed an online job, I spoke to most of my client about it and 3 of them got back to me.
Now she is working for 3 people that lives abroad.
Motun was also always trying her best to help she didn't really need much because she had a lot of connections with rich people, so she was always introducing us to them, we get to meet serious like minded people like us.
And yes the favour was returned.
Not out of pity, but because we valued our relationship, we were always turning up for each other, we always have this feeling that no matter what it is we are always there for each other because of how far we've gone together.
We knew that life isn’t just about moving ahead; it’s about reaching back for those who matter and growing together.
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Today, all of us are thriving. Not because we are the smartest people in the room. But because we never walked alone.
I also had a friend then his name is Femi.
He was a sharp guy. Good grades. Very intelligent also came from a very rich home.
But Femi had a habit of not really valuing people, he doesn't reciprocate love and energy you give him, there was a time he told me he doesn't need anybody for anything and that most people only come for him because they needed something so he won't trust people. He’d ghost friends, ignore calls, only show up when he has an event and needs people to attend his event, and even then, with an air of entitlement.
He left school with pride and zero emotional investment in people.
After some time, Femi lost his job in a wave of downsizing, and said he needed an online job so he can start up his own physical business. He started reaching out, but by then… silence.
People remembered the unanswered calls.
The way he used to act like he didn’t need anyone.
So they gave him exactly what he projected: distance.
That’s when I truly realised relationships are wealth.
Your circle can be your survival.
Your tribe can be your lifeline.
It’s not about what people can give you, it’s about knowing that life gets hard sometimes, and it’s your relationships that help you breathe through the pressure.
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Sometimes it’s a referral.
Sometimes it’s a “don’t worry, sleep at mine.”
Sometimes it’s “I know a guy who can help.”
Sometimes it’s just someone to sit with you while life feels messy.
These are the things school never highlighted.
We were told to chase A’s.
But no one taught us to chase good friendships.
In one way or the other relationships are the dots or puzzles that connect us all together.
So here’s what life has taught me:
Take care of your people.
Call your friends.
Show up when they launch something, even if it’s small.
Check on the ones who’ve gone quiet.
Say “I’m proud of you” without being asked.
Because life doesn’t always hand you opportunities.
Sometimes, it sends them through the people you've nurtured with love and loyalty.
So if you’ve got friends cherish them.Value relationships
Start now.
Start small.
Because in this life, nobody wins alone.