If there is one thing I am struggling to stop, then one of them is making promises to people as casually as possible. This is because a promise gives one room for expectation; it also has connections with our emotions, and sometimes broken promises can lead to risking the trust you have with someone.
From my life experiences, I can tell you that sometimes, there could be a valid reason to break a promise. We could have justifiable reasons for doing so, but it depends on the nature of the promise in question. I shouldn't also overlook the fact that it's always difficult for the receiving individual to deal with such feelings of betrayal, BUT once the valid reason is established and made clear, everyone becomes happy seeing the positive outcome of breaking such a promise.
I can't recall in detail if I have mentioned this experience on Hive or if I discussed it with a close friend, but sometime this year, I broke a promise I made to my immediate elder brother for a valid and justifiable reason, and I will tell you why.
My immediate elder brother has been dealing with a lot in his life, and due to how close we are, he confided in me after a lot of pushing anyways because I sensed that he was bottling up many things and dying slowly. Yeah, he was dealing with divorce; it's hard to finally accept the reality, but it is what it is. You may know how emotionally draining it can be to disconnect with your once lovely family. If it was in his hands, he would have fixed the whole issue, but the wife found another man she felt was more wealthy and could give her the luxury she wanted and left with their only child while my brother went to work. On the quest of looking for his daughter, the wife slapped him four times in public and threatened to arrange boys that would deal with him further. Hearing this alone, I was vibrating, and my brother opened his mouth and said I shouldn't tell my siblings, that he wouldn't want the issue to escalate and reach our mum's hearing. He pleaded with me to stay calm and said that he would handle it himself, and I made the promise to him.
Two weeks later, I kept hearing the worst embarrassment and threatening words; obviously, his life was already in line, but he wasn't seeing what I was seeing. Report this matter to the police, bro. He kept procrastinating due to how hectic his banking job is, and then I was left with the option of breaking the promise I made to him. I created a separate family WhatsApp and didn't include him in the group, then carefully explained to my siblings in detail what is going on in his life. It was a matter of urgency, and my two other brothers took up the issue immediately and calmed the raging storm, which was about claiming his life.
At first, when my brother found out I had already disclosed the issues to my siblings, he was very mad at me. He said, and I quote, "Nkem, thank you for breaking the promises. This is the height of betrayal from you, but know that from today, I will never tell you anything concerning my life." He hung up the call on me without hearing any reason from me...but it's fine; all I wanted was his safety, which my siblings stepped in immediately and arrested the case for. Currently the matter is in the court, and there are no longer threatening words from the wife and whoever wants to marry her now.
The broken promises were for good intentions. I was only concerned about his safety and good enough, he later saw reason with me and tendered an apology.
This is my response to the #HiveLearners community contest on the topic titled, A Broken Promise.
Image 1 is my brother and I, other images were taken from canva