Honoring promises is one thing I have strived to hold firm while dealing with my fellow humans. This is because I understand the repercussions of broken promises. It could lead to hurt and disappointment, and most times we lose trust in the process, depending on the kind of promise that got broken and also on the kind of individual we are dealing with.
When we make promises to someone, or perhaps a simple assurance, expectations are raised, and when it is unfulfilled, it could affect the emotional well being of the person involved. This is why it is important that we keep our promises where we can.
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Have you also imagined our politicians making promises during their campaign and not fulfilling them after they occupy those seats in the government? The feeling on the masses is always painful, and so we usually lose trust in them. Rebuilding trust after a broken promise is usually difficult and may take time for ones that can be rebuilt.
When I couldn't fulfill a promise...
There is this university close friend I had back then named Loveth. We got so close to the point of involving our different families, and the relationship was taking on a unique shape. I remember visiting her family house, and she did the same to mine. I got so familiar with her siblings and her parents as well. At a stage in our relationship, we made promises to each other, which are: we should always disclose everything to each other and not keep secrets of any sort; be honest and share ideas, goals, success hacks, etc. This was our promise, and keeping it brought about a great bond between us as individuals. Whatever happens to me, I call her and update her; the same is applicable to her. Thereafter, Loveth got into a deep relationship with one guy. I could feel the love she has for this young dude, and she was going crazy with it. The young man is handsomely made and very rich. Loveth, too, is a very beautiful damsel, and I was happy she found love. Remember, we were still in the university then, so the guy started spending on my dear friend Loveth towards her academic bills, and not only that, he was also spending on Loveth's family. He started taking care of the family's needs and even repaired their leaking roof at home. Loveth usually calls the young man her prince charming and can't stop saying that he is a God sent to her and the family after their proposal.
So later on, I discovered that her prince charming is a cheat. I personally saw him with two different ladies in a romantic manner on several occasions, and then I became worried about my friend Loveth. I was in a state of indecision about whether to inform her of my observation or keep calm and allow her to find out for herself and sort it out. Remember, one of our promises is that we shouldn't keep any form of secret from each other. So due to how sensitive this information is, I further sought the opinion of other people to know if I should inform my friend Loveth about her fiance's actions, but all I got as an answer was to keep calm as I wouldn't know when they would sort out their issues and I would become an enemy.
Sometimes when Loveth approaches me still expressing her genuine love and commitment to her relationship with her prince charming, I get moody because of what I saw the guy doing behind the scenes, yet I didn't know how to disclose the secret to her. She might feel that I was just being jealous of her, but I do not know if she will believe me. You see, it's a two-way thing considering that her whole family is already craving their union legally, so they will keep benefiting from the guy's richness. So disclosing the information might cause issues with their relationship, or it might not. However, I wouldn't want to be the reason someone would be unhappy, thus my broken promise to her. Of course, it wasn't intentional; I was just uncertain about the outcome of the information I had, even when we agreed that we shouldn't keep anything secret from each other.
Sadly, Loveth called me one day, crying over the phone. It happened that the young guy broke up with her over a new lover. The guy went to the point of sending her a picture of his new-found love, it was same person I saw the guy with, and Loveth was feeling so lonely and depressed. I paid her a visit to console her over what happened; That was when I let out the secret I had been holding. I knew about the guys new relationship but wasn't sure how she would react if I told her. Loveth and her family became mad at me for hiding such information from my close friend. The thing is, had I informed her about it, would it change anything? I wouldn't know, but funny enough, my relationship with Loveth and her family got soured from there. She could ignore my calls and messages for over six months; however, I tried establishing good communication with her to see if we could get back to our closeness, but it never happened. She still feels bad about losing her prince charming, and she still feels bad that I couldn't keep the promise of not hiding secrets from her.
I wish she could see the reasons with me, but I understand her feelings. We have been relating since then, but not like before. She feels hurt and betrayed. That meaningful connection that stood the test of time was lost, to date, to just a peripheral kind of relationship with Loveth.
If you were in my shoes, what would you have done differently? Please let me know in the comment section.
This is my response to the #hivelearners community contest on the topic titled A Broken Promise.
