This year is my biggest year yet, and it probably isn't in the way you'd think. The person I was in the beginning is probably looking in awe at me now for how different we are. To the outside world, it's the same Jay they see—or not—but what's happened so far is what could be called... The Movement. Or is that being dramatic? Let's see.
There were no resolutions per se when the year started. All I was seeking to experience was growth. Ten months have gone by now, and while I would say that growth happened, I just didn't expect that there was one thing in particular that I had to learn and do to activate it.
Being comfortable with the situation of things and unwilling to embrace change is an ugly symptom of stagnancy that "feels" okay but really isn't. It is important to recognise when to make a move. You may know the right thing to do is to move, but you summon the courage to make it to no avail.
The moment finally came when things were at their peak and I had to make the biggest and hardest decision—one that I had been nudging away from for far too long. I thankfully had other lenses to look at the situation from and realised how I was spiralling down a dangerous and destructive road. I would continue seeing rather a shadow in a mirror if I hadn't moved.
Hindsight is now 20/20. Looking back and observing myself from a third-person point of view, I clearly see what I was blinded to before. I didn't recognise how much I was resisting to move and that it was causing havoc. And when I eventually embraced growth clothed in the most unconventional way [to me], it started to manifest.
Not only did I realise how unhealthy and much of a waste of time certain relationships were, I also wasn't seeing how I was missing the mark about fulfilling potential. While I began to see getting out of some comfort zones and embracing change as necessary, I came to understand how important it was to re-evaluate self-worth and the people I walk with.
2024 is coming to an end shortly, and the note I am ending it with is rather exciting and spectacular for me. Never have I been more glad to hug change so tightly. There are people, events, and experiences now showing up that align with the new perspective. I don't know what it may have been like if I didn't make the move, but I sure know that the glimpse of it was ugly.
Growth may not be happening in the way we expect, or even at all. One may need to persevere with patience sometimes; other times, it has to be activated by making a move. It may not be easy, but who says we can't do hard things and succeed?
Image(s) belong to me