Making friends was always an easy task for me when growing up. I was a jovial and carefree person that flows with everyone around me (extrovert), but now I prefer my alone time. The thought of mingling with people stresses me so I prefer to keep little company and even with the little friends I have, the bond is still not so strong😄😄.
Growing up I had lots of friends, the majority were guys. When I entered the puberty stage my mom told me that if a guy touched me I would get pregnant, I am a living example of those statements moms usually say to their daughters. I stopped mingling with guys, my guard was always up whenever I was with one.
I started associating more with girls and keeping my distance from guys, I felt down though because It was easier for me to make friends with guys than girls, guys had no drama, but you see girls any small issue can end the friendship. I remember in my secondary school days I shouted at my closest friend for disturbing me when I was writing. I didn't know that she would hold a grudge against me. We usually go home together she left me and was walking on the other side of the road, thinking about it now it was so funny we did all this for one week then I apologized to her and that was how we became friends again
Also, in my primary school days, I moved from one school to another, and making friends in a new environment was quite challenging, I did something stupid then in class 5. My mom owned a provision shop back then, I took a packet of razor blades so I could share it with my classmate after we had already become close, maybe to strengthen the friendship. They were so happy, but one thing led to another I was reported to my headmistress. My elder brother who was also a teacher in the school vouched that my mom gave it to me and that was how I was let off the hook😄.
I was telling a friend about my ordeal and he was laughing that I didn't share biscuits but razor blades just to keep friends. I remember a classmate of mine, a guy, he doesn't come to school and played bets, instead of coming to school directly he wasted his time at a betting shop, so we always moved in groups during break time to his usual hangout to ask about his wellbeing and also convince him to be present in school. There was so much love and support back then.
I always wanted to be loved and to have lots of friends but now I don't try harder anymore to be friends with people, I don't know what changed, I haven't been betrayed before; I just prefer my private space keeping things to myself. All this started in my University days.
I usually try to keep up with friends and sometimes I stay away from social media. Once in a while I call and chat them up. Then it got to a stage where I just didn't call or chat anymore, I lost contact with some people. I lost some important people but going back to those people starting all over again gives me a headache so I just move on and once in a while say hello to them. It's so difficult to converse with many people because I know I won't follow up not because I don't want to but because I don't want the person to see me as a snub or a bad person.
Making friends is not hard but maintaining friendship is so difficult. The will to keep friends closer is not there or I need to read books on it because I suck at it. I can meet a person anywhere and strike conversation when I am about to leave 😄😄, I don't have the energy to keep talking for long. No matter the information and how interesting the conversation went, I don't ask for number to keep up cause I know I will flop the friendship by not chatting back sometimes or calling. I shouldn't start what I can't finish, there are a few exceptions though. Keeping just a few friends is the goal it is better to have few loyal friends. I am trying to explore more to have more acquittance but my introverted nature is stopping me from making more friends.
Thank you all for reading