Hello everyone, welcome to my blog.
Different people have different tastes for things, it's often said that "one man's food is another man's poison". That is what I believe about being in a toxic relationship, different people have their different love languages, and mostly I wouldn't judge them.
A friend once told me that she can't stay with a man that doesn't lay his hands on her, (beating her), I was shocked to my marrow, so I became very interested in knowing her reasons, and why she prefers to be beaten, she told me, that was the only way he can prove that he loves her😳, i was moved to asked; what if in the process you don't make it, she told me, it's not going to happen, she went further to explain that it was the love language the father always used with her mother🤣, I was speechless, i asked myself, was i dreaming, but it happens to be real.
It was then I realized that she needs help, but she in question does not see anything wrong with that, rather any one that tries to confront the guy, such person will have her to contend with. She didn't believe that the relationship was toxic, rather she explains that she enjoys everything ðŸ˜. So it became difficult for me to help her because everything I said fell on a deaf ears. So I had to let her be, but keep praying for her as the only option left for me.
Although there are different reasons why some people choose to remain in a toxic relationship, some believe they are protecting their integrity, some fear of being alone, others fear of starting over, but whatever their reasons are, they always find justification for whatever decisions they make.
Hence, I believe that most of them are scared of being single or alone, and they belief that being in a relationship, even a toxic one is better than being alone, while others change or uncertainty, they feel that staying there is easier than making a change, some as a result of low self-esteem or self-worth, having the belief and feelings that they don't deserve better or they're not worthy of love and respect. Some endure it because they depend on those people financially and with that they feel they can't leave the relationship because they don't have other financial resources or back up to support themselves. While others due to pressure from family, friends, or society to stay in the relationship, and may feel that leaving such a relationship would present them as failure, while others believe that they will change or the relationship will improve, consoling themselves that staying in such relationship is the best way to achieve that, and others said it's their love language and they are in love with them like my friend.
But in all, I believe that the possible way to help such people is first; they must admit that they need help, because no one would intrude on someone's private or personal life without his/her permission.
Another way forward is seeking counsel; even the scripture recorded that in a multitude of counsel there is safety, that does not mean telling everyone the challenges in your relationship, rather you seek counsel from a trusted source, and be willing to follow instructions given as a way out.
Be financially independent; It's often said that there's no food for a lazy man, so put your hands and your intellect to work, learning of skills, or engaging in trading will yield results. Though the beginning may be small but the later end will be great.
Know your worth and believe in yourself; knowing your worth saves you from unnecessary headache, especially in toxic relationship, everyone's worth is priceless, so knowing this will give you boldness and strength in taking decisions. Don't be afraid of starting afresh, because you won't know and reach the treasure ahead until you leave your comfort zone.
In everything we do, we should always
understand that we all deserve better, never look down on yourself, being in a healthy, loving, and respectful relationship is extremely exciting, and enjoyable, we ought to always prioritize our well-being and safety, because life is one, when it is gone, you will never have it again here on earth.
This is my response to this week's contest topic "Even when toxic" on @hivelearners.
Thank you for reading to the end.
I remain @pricelessudy