Liza Summer from Pexels
When we are talking about the types of emotions in psychology, we will find Anger to be on the list. Anger is in every personality and I don't think it is possible not to find us getting angry over a little or big thing.
No matter how much you try to keep yourself from getting angry, somehow somewhere, you find someone or something to frustrate or infuriate you. There is no how one can escape getting angry.
Anger varies, and there are levels to getting angry. Some destroy things when they get angry. I have seen one who hurts himself when he is angry, and others would try hurting another person when they get angry.
For someone like me, I do get angry and before I know what is going on, I already transferred my aggression onto another person. Many times, when I am angry, I make sure not to allow anyone around me because I don't want to do or say things out of annoyance to such a person. There was a time my anger knows no one. I get angry and say things I ought not to say and when I calm down, I regret what I have said or done.
Anger is such a bad spirit that if not controlled, one would have destroyed things or even friendship with the words they utter without them knowing and they come to realize it when the anger has subsided.
In my tribe, we do say that every human being has this madness in them, but we are just trying to conceal and control it. Though, it takes maturity to truly control such anger because, to me, an extreme display of anger is madness.
Just like I said above, I get angry, but for some time now, I have been able to curtail it and make sure I don't do things I will end up regretting. Though, I get angry, it only lasts for a while and that ends it.
I return to my normal self because I follow what the Bible says that when we are angry, we shouldn't let the sun go down on our anger. That is if I get the scripture well.
Even the Bible made it known that we would surely get angry, but we must learn to control it as soon as possible.
One of the things that get me angry is when I don't have money or I'm hungry. A hungry man is an angry man. I tend to exhibit my anger in these two situations until I am well fed and can see something dancing in my pocket or bank account. But these times, it's rare to see me getting angry over money because I have Hive and other sources of income where I could just withdraw if my cash is getting low.
Another cause of my anger is when someone hurt me or did not get something done when I needed to. After trying my best and still no result, my anger increased but the only way this has helped me is by calming down and taking some breath. I might decide to pause the stuff and do something else, then return to it later, and when I have calmed down, I get the thing done.
IS ANGER A TOOL FOR CHANGE?
To me, Anger can never be a tool for change. Even when it does, it's for a while and what remains is your character because people never forget what you do. Your reputation at that moment is at stake unless you change for the better.
Let's take for instance;
Miss A has always been gentle and soft in every situation, and this has made people around her take her for granted because they know she would not say anything even when you spit on her face.
Miss A has been enduring this situation and will not talk but maintain her attitude. One day, someone stepped on her toes which has been something they had always done to her, but with a smile will let it go. She suddenly got infuriated and flew up, showcasing and exhibiting the other side of her anger.
Everyone would be shocked at such act and you will hear them talking behind her silently “So, Miss A can talk like this? Is this the other side of her? Who would have thought she is not gentle and soft? Etc”
With this act, Miss A had succeeded in changing things around her and everyone would start to mind how they act or what they do so they don't piss her off.
Yes, she had succeeded with the display of anger in her, but that display or act will never be forgotten because she just tainted her personality.
When next someone new comes into the picture, the old ones would want to advise the new person by saying things like, “Don't ever try to cross your boundary with Miss A because if you do, you will see the other bad sides of her.
Should that be a good description of someone who wanted to stop such behaviour toward her? Something positive, but had only revealed who she is in a bad way.
In this situation, there is a way to control this anger by not letting your reputation be at stake. You could just calmly speak your mind so others would understand and next time, they would learn to behave at you. You don't have to show your madness to a situation before getting it right.
Another thing when you are angry is to sleep or walk away from the scene. I learnt a tactic some times ago as someone hurt my feelings and instead of speaking rudely to such individual, I slept and by the time I woke up, I forgot I was angry and that was it.
Next time, when you are angry, count 1-10, or drink a glass cup of water to calm down and it works.
Thanks for your time.
