I realized that making a decision itself is a decision. It's always hard to actually take a step after deciding on something, even when you know there is clarity, yet we feel like there could be danger ahead if we continue and even if we don't continue, there's still danger, so the best is just to take the step and see what happens next.
The truth is, we all don't know what's there for us on the other side until we take the risk, because life itself is a great risk. We walk it through with the aim of getting it right. An individual who wants to choose a course to study at the University would have to get advice and tips before taking a decision, and even at that, the what-if questions keep flooding his or her mind but taking the step is actually what makes things clear along the way.
Same with someone who wants to get married. Such a person would have to think about a lot of things surrounding marriage, weighing the process before coming to a final decision to settle down, while still not knowing what may come out of it.
Taking a decision is a big thing, and if one does not think wisely, things may go wrong, and also, things may go right in the process of a good decision. But in all, we take that leap of faith and step to the other side. It is until we get there, we don't stop feeling anxious and afraid because we think of the aftermath rather than the possible outcome that comes from it.
I have found myself in major decisions of my life where I was always scared to the brim. I feel this anxiety washing over me and afraid of what could happen next. It's like when I need to step out to buy something and I feel so scared going out but would sit there with different what-ifs and what-nots.
This is how fear works in our lives, stopping us from actually doing something, but instead, we sit there blaming different people and the circumstances around us. It is when I finally take that step and go out that I realize I was the one stopping myself, and there was nothing wrong with the outside world which I claimed it to be but something is wrong with me.
You see, as a child, you don't need to waste your time making decisions because your parents are there to do it. Just like in a movie I watched, the boy was so worried and afraid of what would happen to them, but his mom said to him, “Son, leave the worry for me. I will make sure nothing happens to you.” But as we grow up, we become an adult ready to make decisions, because the truth of it is that no one is coming to help or save us. We can only get advice from people, family, and all sorts, but when it comes to taking the bold step, we would have to do it all alone.
The first thing I do when it comes to taking a major decision in my life is to seek God's face. I have learnt to open up to the one who holds my future; this is when I'm confused about what to do or how to go about it. I believe one of the works of the Holy Spirit is to guide us, and no matter what we do outside of Him, we can't do it right.
One key influence I always look out for is spiritual/inner peace. Before I move forward with any decision, I ask myself, "Do I feel a sense of peace about this? Or am I restless and confused?" That inner sense, which I believe comes from God, helps me know if I should proceed or not.
When I was posted to Kebbi State for my camping experience, I wanted to relocate because I already made up my mind not to stay in such a far distance from home. But I didn't know the exact state I could choose. I didn't have any in mind, but when I saw people talking about how Oyo State was paying Corpers a state allowance of #15,000, I thought of it and finally, I made a decision to go there even though I didn't know anyone.
I prayed to God about it, and even with me not sure if it was a place I was to go, I still took the decision to go. When it worked, I wanted Ibadan as my primary place of assignment, but somehow and with my ignorance, I was posted to another town in the state which I knew not of. My first few weeks made me question my coming there. How do I cope? But I was already there. I never stopped praying to God. Along the line, I saw how my decision impacted my stay in the town, and I did enjoy everything because I saw God's presence was with me.
In approaching big decisions like this, I've learned that confusion doesn't mean I should sit still, it means I should rely more on prayer, reflection, and courage. Once I pray and feel even the tiniest conviction in my heart, I follow it. I might not have the whole picture, but I step out in faith.
I also look out for practical signs or confirmations — what people around me are saying, open doors, new ideas, and even closed doors. Sometimes, God speaks through circumstances. The state allowance in Oyo, for instance, was a practical piece of information that gave me direction. It's not just about hearing a voice from heaven, it's also about being attentive to what is happening around you and aligning it with prayer.
When I see a decision is about to change my life, of course, sometimes, we don't know this yet until we actually take that bold step, we just have to test the water, and I always try to keep an open mind, believing that even if things don't work out as planned, there's still something good to learn or gain from it.
Most importantly, I pray about it, because it's important. One thing I always believe is that if such a thing isn't for you, your instinct can never fail you. Besides, God will always ensure you don't go on the wrong path once you listen to His voice.
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