I remembered when my Grandma came to visit us, it wasn't what I imagined. She wasn't the version of grandma that used to send me a full grown village cock every Christmas. This grandma is now vulnerable to any noise, easily distracted, barely recognises our faces except my dad's. She was troublesome many times, fun to be with because she is good at story telling and can hold conversation with almost anyone when she is cool. I can't imagine such old woman staying in a nursing home, it's either she runs away, bite and fight any of the workers or just too difficult to handle. We had tough and nice time when she was with us.
We later found out that all she needed was to be free, to be allowed to do things without making her feel like she's too old. She loves to go out early in the morning and evening,she doesn't know anywhere but wants to talk and interact like a normal human being. She would go around the neighborhood greeting and initiating very mature and sometimes funny conversations with adults. She always loved to carry her 2 litres bucket along with her, doesn't joke with it (would scream at the top of her voice whenever we take it from her):the contents are a wrapper, olden days later, some money and water. She sometimes but biscuits to eat and I wonder why😂😂.
Crazy part, my grandma was stronger in terms of muscle/strength than myself, cousin and dad combined. She sometimes lock the main door to the house at the back and we would have to convince her to open it, worse one was my cousin had to jump into the house through the window to unlock the door from inside. One other time, she was about to lock the door and we started pulling and pushing the door with her, my grandma against myself, cousin and my dad, we couldn't get the door from her. That old woman could be scary sometimes😂😂.
It took us time to know that all she wanted was to be tested like she wasn't an old woman that can't get things done herself. Overtime, we understood to some extent and all there was no more trouble. She just needed to be loved and attended to when she needs not when we think she need.
I don't think I would out any of my aged one in a nursing home. I would find a way to make them stay with my siblings and I. What my parents did for their own parents was taking turns to care for their parents. 3-5 months with the first born, then 2nd child and goes on like that. I would do the same for my parents when it's time. If at all I won't be able to take care of them at all, I would prefer getting a woman who would be a caregiver for my aged parents and I will make sure I seek their opinion on it before doing that: visiting as frequently as I can will be something I would work on too because these are set of humans that cared for me the list and it's their turn to receive the same, even way more than they could do for my siblings and I.