I used to be the type that love secludedness, I always find a way to stay away from people. I just do not want to be the favourite to everyone, the person that everyone can get access to anytime they want. I only love being around people that I know so well and can easily relate with.
Fact is, I have always being on my own since when I was very young. Mum said I rarely leave where ever I was placed to sit as a baby, unlike every other baby that would crawl about and play.
----- that's kinda weird, but I know it's true because I can recall many times I acted that way even as a grown up -----
November 2015 when my family started attending a new church, it was so hard for me to make friends because I do not know how to initiate conversation with strangers. I would only greet the older ones that I choose to greet and then move out of church to wait for the rest of the family. My sisters joined the choir and I, I refused to join because I knew the kind of person I was: I won't mingle well on time. A year later, I joined the choir because more drummers were needed (I played the drums in my former church) and after many months I got close to two guys, they were brothers and I was a little free.
Two years in the choir, I had made about 5 friends including a lady I easily talk to out of 28+ members. On a particular night, I had a long chat on Facebook with the lady Immade friend with and she confessed, telling me how she used to think I was a snub, I snub for a living. She said I do not talk to or associate with anyone unless I was talked to. I told her that's how it looks but that wasn't my intention. I thought that was all until she said almost everyone thinks of me that way especially the ladies. I knew I was in trouble when she said especially the ladies. It took me about 7 years (2015 - 2022) before I started talking freely with everyone in the choir. I used to be that reserved.
THE ADJUSTMENT
I had to adjust when I knew it wasn't a good thing when people see you as a snub or proud person. It can prevent help, support and paint one badly. It was not easy to adjust because I was used to it for over 20 years, keeping myself from others. I haven't changed, I only adjusted the way I relate to people. I also realised that having friends around make life easier, the type of friends we have can determine the type of life we will live too. So, I became intentional about making new friends, but few ones.
Since I have adjusted, I have become happier because I have the right friends I need. I have godly and faithful friends that I am proud of and grateful to God for bringing them my way. And, this has been bringing me some very good connections, money and useful knowledge too. My parents and siblings were so suprised the very first day I brought a friend home, it had never happen because they knew how secluded I was backed.
This was a great achievment and it is something I loved and would always remember. It also helped me here in school, I still have the same set of friends I had since my first year in the university, though I made few more in church. I literally have friends based on various aspect my life like spiritual, academics, tech and music, then childhood friends.