In life, I have learned that the company you keep determines what accompanies you and I must say I have been blessed with kind and intelligent people in my journey in life. There are times one will want to give up because everything seems frustrating and no one seems to understand you but the company of friends you keep and the advice you take from them will be a determinant of how you grow in life. Growing up, I became an introvert, I love having my space and I don't keep friends because I wouldn't want anything that will bother me. This made me want to be in everyone's good book, even when I'm hurt, I tried not to retaliate because I wouldn't want to offend such a person.
I kept to this as a way of life until I was in senior secondary school (ss1), I had just a friend then with whom I always did everything. Everyone knows her to be my friend and she always fights for me at times, sometimes I do correct her on unnecessary things she does react to. She always laughed and felt pity for me, I wondered why because I didn't see anything wrong in being myself. Then one day, a scenario happened in school where I was accused wrongly because I was known to be a quiet girl who couldn't fight or talk much but thanks to my friend this faithful day, she stood for me and gave me the courage I needed.
After the incident, we had a heart-to-heart discussion that changed my life for good. "Is this the way you want to continue living your life?" she asked angrily. I was wondering what she meant by that, I had to ask myself, "Is something wrong with the way I'm living my life?". "You have to be outspoken and stop trying to be in everyone's good book, if not you will be taken as a fool and no one will respect you", she continued. I had to keep quiet to listen to her as she was fuming, at that moment it wasn't funny because she was expressing her heart to me.
"Do you know why I became your friend?" she asked, I nodded in response "No". "I know you were vulnerable for different insults and abuse because I once saw one of the girls talking to you in a wrong way but you couldn't retaliate because you want to be on her good side, are you afraid?" she asked again. It was then I realized she was serious with whatever she was saying to me at that moment. "Stand for yourself and stop trying to please everybody, don't expect everyone to like you, I hate seeing you embarrassed ", she concluded. I was so relieved with everything she said to me that day, it was as if I got a new life.
Till now I tried as much as possible to keep to the advice she gave me "not to be in everybody's good book". It has been helping me from that day onward and it had a positive impact on my life. It's better to treat people according to who they are and the kind of energy they give to you than to take insults from them all in the name of you want to please them. Back then when I was trying to be on people's good side, I didn't notice I was being regarded as a fool until I stopped then I started seeing people's reality and who they are.
I'm always grateful to my friend for standing up for me then but unfortunately, we are no longer in touch with each other. She relocated with her husband to the United Kingdom and since then we've not spoken. Being an introvert isn't a crime but never allow people to take advantage of your good side, stand, and speak for yourself when needed.
Thanks for your time and your comments will be appreciated.