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One thing that I’ve come to realise is that as humans we tend to judge people from afar all the time. Most at times when we are not in a certain situation we keep on saying things like “this can never end me”. At times we don’t know how everything started but as soon as we meet the story in the middle then we tend to go with what we wanna go with.
Toxicity in relationships in my opinion are weird signs we see from the start but because we are mostly blinded by love we tend to ignore those signs. Some people might refer to this as red flags. For me, I don’t really believe in red flags. I think if we should consider red flags early on in a talking stage then most people will not last a month in relationships. Why do u say this? We all have what is not good in us. We are humans who were created to be imperfect and at the end of the day we will always have faults in us. This is what makes us humans.
For me, I don’t see toxicity as flags. We see them from the way they laugh at certain situations or the way your supposed partner talks down on people when you’re both gossiping about someone. You see it but then you think because they love you too much they’ll never do or say those harsh words to you. Well, wait till they’re angry. Anger should never cause you to speak so ill of someone unless you’ve had those words hidden in you for a while.
For me, I wouldn’t take the words you speak to me whilst angry as just angry words. Those words are things you’ve wanted to say but didn’t say it because you didn’t have the chance. But does having a toxic partner mean you should leave them?
Hmm,this is a hard one. I think no matter how good or respectful your partner is to you they’ll step or say hurtful words to you once in a blue moon. Sometimes those people don’t even know they have said those words to you. There are some people on the other hand who’ll say shit to you and know what they are doing. This is where communication plays a big role.
I believe you don’t have to wait for 2 to 3 years in a relationship to know that someone is toxic. Mostly we make our decisions and tend to stick with it thinking we can change them. For those people who don’t know that they are that way, I best believe communication can change them. For people who know and one care you need to run lol.
I believe the best is dialogue to let the person know that they are doing to you. If dialogue is not working then you are wasting your time hanging around to see if they change.
How do you deal with toxic people? Do you approach the dialogue style like I suggested or you hang around waiting for them to change? Have you had such a partner before or you were the toxic one?