What do you do when you are lost in the woods?
Right now I'm in the middle of nowhere and off grid. Just walking around my "back yard" there is a risk of getting lost and indeed I did one time. That was scary. Not super scary because I know that if I go west I'll hit the river if I go south I'll hit the lake, go north and I'll get to my home or at least the road that it is on, go east and I'll hit the highway.
The problem is that if I go the wrong way it will be a very very long walk. It could easily take me a day of trudging through forest with mosquitoes, hornets, branches, thorns, and if I'm unlucky--cougar, bear or moose.
So, what do I do? I can pick a direction and go for it. Or I can sit and wait, watch the sun look at moss or maybe just climb a tree and see which way the mountains are. On the one hand it could take an hour to find my way while a direct path home will get me there in that same hour. On the other hand spending an hour to find the RIGHT way home could save me a days travel going in the wrong direction. Either choice could be right or wrong. As long as you weigh the decision carefully and make a choice that is acceptable to you then go for it.
Guess what? Sometimes life is a forest you have to navigate your way through.
Gap Years
Now my son has asked a couple times about taking a gap year. He thought about it when he graduated from high school and again after his first year. He asked me if it was a good idea and both times I said no, bad idea. Then he asked me if I would ever say yes to a gap year and I told him after his second year it might be time to take a gap year. He was very surprised. He expected me to be the dad that always says "stay in school and persevere" but that was honestly never my intention.
Let me tell you why I gave the advice I did and then you can tell me if I have valid reasons or whether I'm totally out to lunch.
Don't stop after high school
At my job I see a lot of people start at an entry level position after high school saying they are taking a "gap year" and what happens? They rarely go back to further their education. Their study skills get rusty, they have too much fun, they make financial decisions which trap them into continuing their job, or they find that applying and getting everything ready to go to university is a pain so they put it off.
Going to University (or trade school, or vocational training, etc) from high school is easiest when you just follow the path. The majority of people take that path and it is easiest for someone who is in the groove of studying. Then when you start your training? You've gotten a couple of the biggest hurdles out of the way. The application and acceptance part is done. The mind game of "university is hard" is taken care of. At this point if you DO decide to leave university at least you know the routine and know you can take it up again. BUT...
Don't stop after your first year.
University is tough. If you just finish the first year (or worse the first semester) then it looks like you just quit when it got difficult. Or worse you did just quit then things got hard. Making tracks when things get hard is a sure way to lose in life. Why? The important things in life are difficult. Marriage is hard. Raising kids is hard. Paying bills and getting ahead is hard. Sticking with a job when it is unpleasant is hard. If you get in the habit of ditching something when it gets challenging? Just an overall bad idea.
But what about dropping out after second year?
This is where things get more interesting. At this point you figured out how to get into University and jump through the paperwork hoops to get there. At this point you have proven to yourself (hopefully) that you can stick with it when things get challenging. At this point it might be the time to step back and say... Where does this path lead me?
For my son he wants to be a doctor. His grades after first year were good but marginal if he wants to get into a Canadian medical school (B+ / A- average). If his grades improve to A- / A average after second year he knows he is competitive for a doctor so he can continue without fear. If his grades are still B+ / A-? Then he has to think hard. He might be able to get into medical school with those grades but what if he doesn't. He also has to think about how hard he has already worked and how little life he has had...if he continues the doctor trail he will have another 8+ years of an academic grind I wouldn't wish on anyone. He will also be closer to an adult and will have to think....is that really what I want to do with my life or was it just a "good idea" after high school.
If there is no doubt in his mind about where he wants to go and what he wants to do--then don't stop and lose the momentum! It's hard to get back on the academic train if you jump off for a bit.
But if there is doubt? Take the gap year and use it wisely volunteer in places that give medical aid, see the profession in action and explore if that is truly a path you want to be on. If it is, great, you can always go back to study. If it isn't? Better to have only devoted 2 years to study at University than ten.
From my own life
From my own personal experience I have great respect for the gap year and NOT just mindlessly grinding out the degree.
Against grinding it out.
Two of the doctors that work in the building with me told stories of their children. The doctor's diligently paid for their children's tuition so they could get good degrees. Their children were intelligent and hardworking. One got a degree in teaching. Another got a degree in Dentistry. But both children graduated...and promptly decided that they hated being a teacher/dentist so their parents paid for them to go back to school. In the end both of the children studied for 8+ years with nothing to show for it and the parents were out huge amounts of money!
My personal path
In my case I did go to University for two years and then? I ran out of money. No cash...no studies. I went to work at a minimum wage job at Radio Shack for two years and I learned more in that two years than I did in my two years of University. Well, maybe not more, but at least some important lessons.
The first lesson was that I would make a terrible doctor. I wanted to become a doctor after high school only to find out that I just don't have the personality and compassion required for the job. Imagine I spent all the time and effort to become a doctor only to find out...I'm lousy at it. However, I also quickly learned that working a minimum wage job wasn't going to get me ahead in life. I could work my 40 hours a week and have a place to live and food to eat but little more. My ambition told me I needed a better job.
In the end I did go back to school. Then when things got tough I could always remember...if I drop out I'll go right back to minimum wage and a dead end job. My time at Radio Shack was a big reason why I worked so hard in University. I knew the alternative!
My good friends from Radio Shack days.
However, there were also two good friends I made at Radio Shack who also took gap years for very different reasons. Both also succeeded because of the time they took away from studies.
My first friend? Very smart guy. However, due to family issues he needed to take a break to work and help out with his family. He worked very hard and was actually very good at Radio Shack. Promoted to manager, got increase in salary, and generally did well. However, when he was finished helping his family he went back to University, got a degree in computer science and got a much much better paying job as a computer programmer and system analyst.
My second friend? Arguably the most intelligent person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. He did go into computer studies right after high school and dropped out after the first semester. Why? The class was useless to him. He already knew everything they were teaching. He knew more than the teacher and could easily prove why the teachers' information was out of date and that there were newer and better things already in place. He worked at Radio Shack while he was going to school as a part time job but when he dropped out of University? He had the time to become a computer consultant and he was VERY good at what he did. He had steady clients who trusted him with large projects.
However, there came a time when his contacts led him to corporate clients who couldn't hire him without the proper degree from University. What did he do? He went back to University. He challenged half his classes so he got credit without wasting his time in the classroom. He finished the courses he couldn't challenge very quickly and with excellent grades. He completed his 4 year degree in only two years.
If he just mindlessly went through the courses? It would have taken him more time. He would have had fewer business contacts and generally would have regretted his decision.
General advice and final thoughts?
Finding your place or grinding it out? Both have their merits.
Taking a gap year from a job or education or grinding it out? Both have their merits.
I see so many people quit when its hard. Bad idea.
I see so many people lose momentum by taking it easy, especially after high school. Bad idea.
However, sometimes taking a little bit of time to step back and evaluate where you are headed and where you want to be headed can make an awful lot of sense.
Life is to be lived and enjoyed. Stopping when it gets tough will always cause you to lose. Stopping to make sure you are on the right path to get you to your final destination? That's a pause that can make sense.
Just my thoughts and let me know if you think I'm wrong. I always love comments and thanks for reading this far.