There are a lot of 'F' words out there. If you are cut off in traffic what is your first response? Forgiveness? Or perhaps your first response is to blurt out a loud F#$% You !.
There are other F pairings that can make all the difference in your life. The one you choose can make for very different paths in life.
Faith or Futility
At the core of life I believe that people have to have faith in something. Without faith it is exceedingly difficult to find purpose. Without purpose what is the point of life? What you have faith in is a very personal choice. As a Christian I put my faith in God. However, there are many different faiths out there be it Islaam, Sikh, Shinto, or one of a myriad of others. While they are all very different they do all give people a purpose.
Others may choose to put their faith in non-religious pursuits. People may put their faith in money, into altruism, into governments, into nature or perhaps "the Universe". I will not claim to be able to list or even imagine all the different ways that people find their faith. I would postulate that without faith in something that it is difficult to find a purpose for all the daily grind of life. Without purpose I believe that life quickly becomes just futile effort with no real purpose.
Feel free to disagree of course 👍
Family or Flings
Family is a huge topic and certainly one I couldn't tackle in just a few sentences! However, adults typically have a choice when they are dating: keep on dating or settle with a partner and start a family. Now families are as diverse as the people who make them. Families are only as good as the work and love that go into them. The same can be said for dates and short term relationships!
There is a choice though. One can choose to build the strong ties of a family or one can have exciting flings with others as the flit through life from one relationship or hook-up to the next. A case can be made for either. I do believe that a choice has to be made though. Trying to create a strong family while also pursuing casual flings rarely works well.
Friends or Followers
Which brings me to Friends or Followers?
In today's digital age many people are in a race to have as many followers as possible. Get a large following of people and make themselves popular and well liked as a result. I'm certain it is quite the ego boost to get a million Youtube subscribers, Instagram or X followers, or even just 1,000 Hive followers!
There is a trade off though. You just can't connect with hundreds, thousands or millions of people. Relationships take time and I doubt any person has the time or energy to truly connect with hundreds of people let alone thousands of millions!
Friends are very different from followers. At least true friends in my opinion. A friend is someone who you actually build a relationship of trust with. Someone you can rely on to have your back in bad times. Someone who will try to keep you from making bad decisions, strengthen you to make good ones, and be there through the difficult times of life. True friendship takes time.
Friendship without time is simply an acquaintance.
Then the question comes up. How to make friends? Few or many friends?
I wish I knew the secret to making friends. I wish I had the skills to connect with people. I wish I had the energy and time to build many strong friendships. Unfortunately I do not. My empathy and social skills are poor and I'm OK with that. Now the friends I DO have are usually through shared interests. Anime. Gaming. Hive. Sustainable Living. Off Grid lifestyle. Church. All things that are important to me. When I meet people with similar interests whether online or in person it gives a starting point of conversation. Listening, common interests, and an open mind are great starting points for new friendships.
To me I have a few solid friends. My wife would truly be considered my best friend so I guess Friendship and Family have similar ties 🙂 However, with my children I don't try to be a friend I try to be a father--it's different. NOT counting family I have a few close friends. People I can count on and who can count on me. Mostly made purely by chance (or perhaps God brought them to my life) but I never actively sought out new people to be friends. Too much work.
Freedom or Fealty
In my personal opinion I think those F choices come down to a simple choice between Freedom or Fealty.
Most people value their freedom highly. Being free to do what you want when you want can certainly be fun! Being tied down by obligations is typically seen as not being fun. People think obligations are the shackles that imprison us and keep us from doing what we want.
However, that's exactly what Faith, Family and Friends do. They all bind us and keep us from doing what we like. Faith gives me restrictions on what I should and shouldn't do. My vows to my wife and my duty to my children often keep me from following things I want and lead me to do what is best for the family unit. My duty to my friends means I have an obligation to them. I need to be there for them when they are down. I need to help them when they are in need. They require time to keep the friendship growing.
However fealty to my Faith, family and friends can also be thought of as ties of love. Being bound by love is actually not a bad thing. It gives a sense of fulfilment and wellbeing. Overall, I'd rather be bound into friendship and love than chase after fleeting moments of fun.
Final Thoughts
Ultimately your chose comes down to the choice of "Fun" or "Fulfillment". Being Free allows you to pursue Fun much more easily and do whatever you please. However, it is the ties that bind, the relationships that last, and that deep sense of purpose found in faith that ultimately leads to Fulfillment in life.
Which F do you run to? For me it is always faith, family and friends (with fun and funds being nice additions 😄)
As always I love comments
Feedback is always appreciated.