One of the joys of getting older
One thing that I have noticed about getting older is that my recall isn't as good as it once was.
(Image source: Dall-e)
When I was a teenager I could remember things no problem. Read an article and I could tell you exactly what it was about, facts in the article, and all the basic premises it went on about without issue. Ask me a week later and it would be fuzzier but much of it was still there.
Right now I'm a teenager with a lot of decades on the clock. By the end of the day I can barely remember what I had for breakfast. Now that might be a bit of an exaggeration but I do post on Actifit. I usually get all my steps for one day and then post about it the next day. In that way I can get all the steps counted. The biggest problem I have is trying to remember: What did I do yesterday? Thankfully I usually take a few pictures during the day so that makes it much easier to remember and give details for my Actifit post.
Still. It sucks to know that my memory is slowly slipping away.
Did I lock the door? Did I turn off the stove?
The good news is that my lack of memory isn't all due to age. Horray!
Here is something that I have learned about memory and how the body works. The body does an awful lot of things on remote. As you do the same thing over and over again your body can do it on autopilot. Many of the days tasks don't actually really require active thought. Locking the door when you leave. Turning off the stove when you are done. The list could go on and on. Something I've learned is that if you are running on autopilot the brain doesn't really store the memories.
That was really important for me at work. Why? I would prepare to leave work get on my jacket, lock the door and head to my car. Then I think for a moment before I leave. Did I turn on the alarm? Did I lock the door? Did I place the order? Then I would have to go back and recheck everything. It was a total waste of time and I never did actually leave the door unlocked. I guess my autopilot worked. Still IF I didn't lock the door or turn on the alarm it could be a huge issue.
Distractions make a difference
Doing things on autopilot is certainly a reason to be forgetful. Distractions or multitasking are two other reasons. My wife is asking me to do something my kids are asking me questions, my phone just gave me a notification and what happens.... I can't remember what I was supposed to be doing. Sure I like to think that I can juggle everything but to actually focus and remember? It takes time and effort. It drives my wife nuts. She will ask things like "Did you remember to vacuum the floor like I asked?" and I'll think... Hmm... I remember you asking, but I had to walk the dog, then you asked me to make lunch for the kids, then I had to go get something from the store to make it, then my mom called then I totally forgot.
What happened? Distractions and trying to do too many things at once.
When it sucks to forget things
Now sometimes forgetting somethings is amusing. Sometimes it is annoying. Sometimes it can lead to real issues. I think I could come up with lots of things that have forgotten with varying degrees of severity.
Sometimes it is simple but annoying. Just this morning we were making coffee. We had the coffee, we had the coffee maker, the coffee much...but we forgot to bring the cream and sugar along with us. Black coffee sucks.
When we were much younger the family went on a road trip. We were travelling with two young children who were probably 2 and 4 at the time. Hours on the road until we get to the hotel and are ready for family memories. We had diapers, bottles, stuffies wipes and so many other things for the kids. Then the morning after arriving we go to dress the children and ..
... we totally forgot to bring any pants for the kids. I remember calling to my wife "Where did you put the kids pants?" Then there was a pause an an "....Uh, I think we have a problem." Now at the time it was a bit of disbelief that "How can we possibly forget pants?". Looking back on it, pretty funny.
As for the worst thing I forgot? It was where I parked the car. Sounds innocuous, right? Well,, I thought I remembered where I parked the car and when I went there the next morning the car wasn't there. What do I do? I report the car as stolen. A week later the car is found but it seems that the vehicle had been parked somewhere too long as I forgot the actual place I parked the car. Being without my car for a week, having to file the police report, having to file the insurance claim, having higher insurance rates and then looking like a fool when it was found was embarassing, inconvenient, and actually kind of expensive.
How do prevent making the same mistake?
Unfortunately as I have no way to make myself get younger and my memory will continue its inevitable decline forgetting things is only going to get worse over time.
The good news is that there are a couple fo things that make it easier to remember things.
Be Intentional
To avoid the autopilot mode keeping my memories from forming I make sure that I stop, think, and tell myself I'm doing this. Every time I lock the door at work I stop and think "I'm locking the door, pay attention". Do the same when I leave the house, close the garage door, or park my car. That simple step of intentionally remembering the moment makes it stick far better.
Avoid multitasking
I'm also avoiding multitasking.
Rather than just say "Yes dear" when my wife wants something done I try to tell my wife "I'm doing something right now, I'll be with you shortly. Now, that doesn't mean she actually pays attention to my wishes but if she ignores my wishes and tells me to do something--I don't feel as bad when I forget it.
Make a list
One thing that has made it so much easier for me is a white board sitting on the fridge. If there is something I need to do I write it down. Something I want to research later I write it down. Something coming up that I should remember to attend to or just an important date? Write it down.
Sure you can do that with apps on the phone but just having it written down on a central area of the house means I'll pass the reminder over and over again. Also it feels really good when I can erase things from my To-Do list.
Don't sweat the small stuff
.... and it is all small stuff.
Overall I've had many things that just haven't gone according to plan. I've forgotten things, misplaced things and generally goofed up so many times in my life. When it happens I just have to remind myself that life happens and I'm only human. Almost without fail I've been able to figure out things and make alternative plans. Perhaps not cheap and perhaps not convenient. Perhaps even leading to a lost opportunity. Overall though, its just life and things have a habit of working out in the end.
For example: Two toddlers and no pants? An emergency trip into town which is 40 minutes away to try and buy something so they don't have to wear their pajamas for the next week seems like an emergency. Having to get to work and your car isn't there, so you have to call insurance, call police, arrange a rental, and explain to your boss why you are 2 hours late? Seems like an emergency in the moment but as time goes by it just becomes a funny story.
At least that's my take on things.... Thanks for reading and if you agree, disagree or even just want to leave a comment I would appreciate it I always like comments :)