Want to know a secret?
This is going to be a long post. Hehe... maybe that's not a secret because I've been called out for writing long posts. In order to keep it orderly I'll write a table of contents (also to keep me from rambling too much)
Table of Contents
1. Reason for this post
2. Who's the bigger fool?
3. When getting a "Golden Ticket" isn't enough
4. Chasing Diamonds
5. Message from a Millionaire (or three)
6. Being content with enough
7. F.I.R.E. is a bad idea
8. Wrap-up
Reason for this post
There are a few reasons for this post.
I recently had a conversation with my youngest son when he said "Dad. Life is all about the hustle to make more money as soon as possible". That was concerning to me.
@monica-ene recently wrote a post about how "no-one has ever said they have enough money" a statement that I really disagree with.
@bruno-kena recently wrote a post about how "ask anyone what they want and they will tell you - more money" which I still disagreed with
@priyanarc recently wrote about her dealings with mental illness and her struggles with therapy.
I recently had to evict a room mate who was a great person but made some truly terrible money and life decisions due to mental illness.
#hive-learners is having a post topic on "people who have helped me get where I am today". I actually wasn't going to write on this post prompt but it helped me focus this post so I'll throw it in there.
Who is the bigger fool?
Consider this for a moment
Source: Pixabay
There are two runners.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The first runner is going to run a race. He has great determination. He trains hard, he runs hard, he develops himself to be the best runner he can possibly be.
When the day of the race comes he is totally prepared to be the best runner anyone has ever seen. He runs hard, he outpaces all the competition, he finishes the race in 1st place!
Then he just keeps on running without accepting the prize!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The second runner is going to run a race. He has great determination. He trains hard, he runs hard, he develops himself to be the best runner he can possibly be.
The day of the race comes and he is physically prepared! Unfortunately he hasn't been given a map of the route! Being the smart person that he is he paces himself and follows the group. Slowly over time he overtakes all the other runners until only the lead runner is left. He keeps following the lead runner for a minute, five minutes, 15minutes, and hour.... Then as he is tiring he asked the runner in the lead...where is the finish line?
The lead runner then replies "No Idea I'm just following the road in front of me!"
The runner ran a race without knowing the finish line!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Honestly I don't know who would be the more foolish person, however, there are so many people in life who are doing just that.
Many people are like the first runner. They have a goal in life. The pursue it with great vigor and when they reach that goal they don't sit back and enjoy the rewards they just keep on pushing!
Many people are like the second runner. They don't have a goal. They just follow what others are doing to get ahead. When the finally get ahead they don't have any idea where the finish line is!
A Wise runner enjoys the race, pushes hard, and enjoys the rewards of finishing the race as well!
When a Golden Ticket isn't enough
My son had a room mate who won a Golden Ticket
At least in terms of the majority of readers in the Hive-learners community from Nigeria and Pakistan. He was given a pension from his work at an early age. $2000 HBD (1.25 Million Naira) monthly, for life, and he could live anywhere in the world he wanted and they would send him the money.
The ONLY stipulation was that if he went back to work he wouldn't get the money.
He could follow any hobby. He could devote himself to enriching his body, mind, soul, or spirit. He was Filipino so he could go to The Philippines where life is cheaper than Canada. He could go to any small town in Canada where life is less expensive. He could even go to Nigeria and I'm certain his 1.25Million Naira monthly would afford him a reasonable lifestyle. Maybe even allow him to find a 20year old girlfriend 😂
He had no wife. No children. No ties or entanglements. He was FREE to do whatever he wanted, wherever he wanted, with a guaranteed monthly payment from the insurance company...which would have been taken over by the Canadian government if the insurance company ran into issues.
BUT Now he is homeless
He insisted he needed a new car but the payment with insurance and fuel was almost $900/month. He didn't need a car to go to work but he wanted one because he didn't want people to see him as a man without a car.
He insisted he needed a new phone with an expensive phone plan ($100/month). He didn't need it because his old phone was a very nice Samsung Galaxy S21...but when offered a Galaxy S23 he jumped at it.
He didn't want to learn to cook because he thought that was "woman's work" so he insisted in eating out for every meal. Of course, he also wanted to invite his friends and tip the waitress every time.
At the end he couldn't pay his rent for two months and his mental issues made him a hazard to the people in the house...so he was evicted with no place to go and no money to find a new place.
Sure, he still gets his pension but without spending wisely he will never get ahead. ***
Chasing Diamonds
On a very different note one of my wife's friends just got an engagement ring.
Not just any engagement ring but one with 15 karat TW costing thousands of dollars!
Of course my wife is envious as her wedding ring is much smaller. In my defense she got her ring when I was young and not well established. Her friend is marrying a wonderful gentleman who is a retired physician who was previously the chief physician at a large hospital.
Here is a question for any married person
Is the value in your marriage in the diamond ring that was given to you...
....or is it the value of the time and memories that you share together?
I may be wrong but I'm going to believe that most of the replies are that the true diamonds in the marriage are the wonderful shared memories together!
My wife's friend didn't get the diamond ring as a financial investment but rather as symbol of the glittering memories they will share over the rest of their lives.
I would say that other people will make both your best and worst memories
Any moment worth having is worth sharing and those shared memories are the most valuable you will have. They will be more valuable than any ring, any phone, any car, or other physical item. Once people have enough money they will be far happier if they focus on relationships rather than money. Having enough money means being able to afford nice memories with others.
The worst memories in life will also be those shared with other people. People who have done bad things, missed important dates, or who have broken trust will likely be the worst memories. Following only money puts you at a far greater risk of harming others (or yourself) and making those bad memories. Love of money can cause more harm than good.
Prioritizing the people not the money is the key!
Message from a Millionaire
Note: This is from a Millionaire not Billionaire
Millionaire's have enough money to live comfortably. Billionaires have enough money to change the world. Very different mindset. Plus I don't know any Billionaires.
I do know a few millionaires though and I've learned a lot from them.
My current boss, My good friend Doug, Both of my uncles, My father's best friend and a few others.
Which one will I choose as my hive-learner influential person and the message from a millionaire? That would be from my second Pharmacy Manager while I worked in Nelson, BC. I don't remember his name and I didn't actually like him because he was opinionated and annoying. However, one quote he told me has stuck for over 25 years.
"I'm working my way straight to the bottom" along with "If you don't care about your paycheque an employer has no power over you"
It actually makes sense though.
You see that Pharmacy manager had made enough money and saved enough money to be comfortable in his life. He had a wife, car, home, investments, friends and so forth. Sure he could work harder and harder to make more and more money.
The problem with that would be that it would take a lot of his time. Time that he would rather use his time enjoying moments with his wife, time with his children, activities with his friends and so on. The responsibilities of being a Pharmacy Manager kept him from what he really loved. He understood that he HAD ENOUGH MONEY and it was more important to chase other things.
He didn't want to give up being a Pharamacist because he enjoyed the profession. He just wanted to be working casual so he wouldn't be tied to a schedule or have all the responsibilty. He had reached his goal in life and just didn't want to keep on running hard!
Two other lessons from Millionaires I've known.
1. Dr. Bale
A wonderful and well respected Doctor. Retired in his early 60's so he could enjoy the money he had accumulated. Unfortunately he died less than a week after retirement
2. Mr. Sanderson
A very intelligent and talented man and friend of the family. Worked hard as a Pharmacist to make a fair amount of money. Inherited a few million from his parents as well. However, his youngest son died just after University from cancer. His older son developed debilitating psychological issues after drug use while at University. His wife is disabled due to Parkinsons.
He would happily trade away all his wealth for his wife and children.
Being content with enough
If there is anything I've learned from these people in my life it would be:
Now I realize that many of my Nigerian and Pakistani friends are not in a situation where they have enough. The hunt for money is all consuming because there is need all around them.
For those who do not have enough the chase of money is real and important!
Having a goal on what is enough and then resting once reaching that goal is also very important! The goal should be attainable and not perfection. So many people want The Best or Perfect but you will work forever and never attain it. Reach for Good and enjoying it is actually worthwhile though.
As an example:
I have a Samsung Galaxy S20FE cellphone. It is certainly not a new model and not one to brag about. However, it is a good cellphone and I've learned to be content with it.
I have a 2014 Mitsubishi Mirage and 2009 Dodge Caravan. Neither one is a prestige vehicle like a BMW or Mercedes. One is a tiny little econobox. The other one is a beat-up old van. Nothing to brag about but they get me where I need to go.
My wife isn't perfect and she is getting older. I wouldn't trade her in for a newer model though as she's exactly who I want to get old with.
My kids can be annoying and often don't do what I would like them to. They are both strong and independent with a good heart and I am thankful God chose to give them to me.
I don't have a lot of friends but the few I have are trustworthy and reliable. I'd rather keep them forever than a large number of less reliable people.
...From Mr. Sanderson I've learned to treasure the time I have with my family.
...From my old Pharmacy manager I've learned to not aim for more and more money but aim to focus on what's truly important.
...From Dr. Bale I've learned I don't know how much time I have and to spend it doing what I love as much as possible.
F.I.R.E. is a bad idea
It may seem like I'm encouraging the :
... Financial
... Independence
... Retire
... Early
Source: Fortune magazine: Article on F.I.R.E. wearing thin
Honestly though I think it is a bad idea. I love the idea of working hard to achieve financial independence as those who follow the F.I.R.E. lifestyle propose. They work so hard when they are young so they can retire in their 30's and never have to chase money again. It may sound great ...
....except
A lot of who we are, the people we meet, and the satisfaction we get is by doing something worthwhile in life (usually work)
For those who retire early they will find that their friend options are limited as many others their age are stuck working. When they do get together with friends they won't have work stores to share. If their investments go sour they won't have the work skills to recover.
Instead I would propose to work hard to achieve financial independence so you are never stuck in a bad job or with a bad boss. The flexibility to do a job you like instead of the one that pays the best money is HUGE!
The lack of stress that comes with knowing the money is there is lifechanging. No more sleepless nights wondering about finances. No more fights with your spouse about spending. The ability to spend more quality time with friends and children is priceless.
Indeed retiring early and missing out on work is denying one of the gifts that God gives. I love this quote from the Bible.
Ecclesiastes 3:13 (New International Version):"Moreover, when God gives someone wealth and possessions, and the ability to enjoy them, to accept their lot and be happy in their toil—this is a gift of God."
When the Bible says that having enough, enjoying enough, accepting enough and be happy in your work is a gift from God. I'll take it that there is Wisdom in not always wanting more.
alternatively
1 Timothy 6:10 (New International Version):"For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs."
Always wanting more money is said to be a sure way to end up with many griefs.
Wrap-Up
Final thoughts.
To my son:
I applaud him for wanting to work hard and get ahead. It's important to have enough to support yourself financially. But when you enter the rat race it's important to know the finish line! Don't keep running the race forever
To @monica-ene and @bruno-kema
Not everyone wants more money! For those of us who are lucky to have enough there is a time when the smart ones learn that its the people in life who make us the happiest. Working so hard and ignoring those around us is a sure way to make people unhappy.
To @priyanarc
Good luck in your battles. Mental health can be a road to ruin or a road to self improvement. A hard road can either break you or make you stronger. I hope your road makes you one tough Hive contributor. Please don't get broken like our ex-room mate.