Merry Christmas--Or Maybe not
For many people Christmas isn't a happy time. Hearing "Merry Christmas can be like rubbing salt on an open wound to many people. While Christmas songs are merrily saying "There is no place like home for the Holidays" or "It's the most wonderful time of the year"
But for many that is not the reality. Many people don't have enough food to eat let along have a feast. Many children do not have loving caring families to give them presents and toys, indeed some are abusive or worse. Many elderly have no-one to share the holidays with and suffer in quiet lonliness.
So, if you are wishing people "Merry Christmas" just understand for many it may not be.
Two very different Christmas stories
The #hivelearners community gave us a post topic: Fondest Holiday Memories. I know they asked for the best memories and only one memory. I hope @kronias and the crew will forgive me if I take a little artistic license and give two very different Christmas memories but with one theme to tie them together.
I'd like to give a Christmas memory from 1992 and another from 1998. Both memories are vivid in my mind. That's kind of a rarity for me. After having over 50 Christmas times many of them just kind of blur together. However, these two years were special in very different ways.
1992
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In 1992 I was happily studying at University. It was still early in my studies and the workload was fairly light. I also had some of the best friends a man could ask for. Jason, Dana, Mike, Cam, Tim, Chris, Marco and a few others as well.
It was our habit to get together every Friday night for a movie. Jason really enjoyed good audio and video -- he had a home theater to match his passion. As a result everyone gathered at his home for food, conversation and a movie every friday night. It was truly awesome. Of the group I was an honor roll student in Pharmacy but I was probably one of the least intelligent people there. All of us were intelligent with some being truly gifted. We all had different opinions and different viewpoints but that made for great conversation late into the night.
Jason and Dana also had a wonderful toddler who just loved Christmas shows. This year we got to watch the show "Wish for Wings that Work" about a penguin who was in therapy because he couldn't fly. It was fun for children and young adults alike.
While I have many great memories of Christmas with family and friends there was just something about this one that stood out. Maybe it was the silly video. Maybe because it was the energy of the young child at Christmas. Maybe it was the comraderie between friends. However, this one always stands out in my mind.
1998
By 1998 I had graduated from University and become a Pharmacist. I had just recently purchased a new home. I was preparing everything to get married in March of 1999. I had some good friends to spend my free time playing video games, card games, or watching anime. It was an exciting time. However, it was a little bit sad that I lived far from my family and my friends were spending their time with family. Pharmacists don't get time off at Christmas so I was stuck being alone at Christmas....or so I thought.
I was working a Christmas Eve shift which luckily ended fairly early so people could go home for Christmas dinner. In the early afternoon I got a surprise phone call from my sister. That was nice. She told me that my grandmother had just had a major stroke and wasn't expected to live more than a few hours to days at most. That was not nice. I was in tears shortly after that. The rest of my shift was a blur. I called my manager and said I was taking the next bus out of town to visit my grandmother before she passed away. My manager certainly wasn't happy but I really didn't care.
Christmas eve on a 10hour evening trip going 700km to see my dying Grandmother. Not fun.
When Christmas day came I got to see my mother and sister with red puffy eyes from crying at my Grandmothers bedside. I saw my grandmother lying there looking frail and with shallow, raspy breaths. I held her hand, told her I loved her and spent much of the day in the hospital. She died later that day. Not so Merry Christmas
After that I went to to visit my Grandfather. Of course he was distraught but for some reason I went to my Grandmother's room. What I saw there brings a tear to my eye to this day (even as I'm writing this). She has a dress picked out and sitting on a manequin by her nightstand. On her dressing mirror she had written the date for my wedding in lipstick. She had prayed for years that I find a good wife, and was so excited that she was going to see me get married! She knew her memory was failing but she wasn't going to miss that wedding for anything.
except a stroke...and death
How can two such different Christmas be similar?
Now you may remember that I said I was going to give two stories which have a similar thread. You may also be wondering what could such a wonderful Christmas and such an awful Christmas have in common.
Of course the first obvious similarity is that they are both unforgettable
But if it was just that then I would never have included the sad story. After all the post prompt was Fondest Holiday Memory.
Well that's where my title "The Bittersweet of Time" comes in.
Looking back at 1992. It was my happiest Christmas memory. However, looking back at it I am always a bit sad. All the crew moved on to different careers. Different cities. Different lifestyles. Different priorities. The bond of friendship that was so strong is gone and nothing of it remains. There will never again be the youthful exuberance and late night conversations over the movie of the night...or whatever else we found to talk about. My fondest memory is now tinged with sadness.
Looking back at 1998. It was my saddest Christmas memory. However, when I look back at it I am always cheered up a bit. I remember how much my Grandmother loved me. How much she prayed for me. How she taught me about being a Christian, being self reliant, and how to be frugal and dig yourself out of a big financial mess. (My Grandfather spent way too much but that's a story for another day). My saddest Christmas memory now bring fond recollections of one of the most special people I have ever known.
Time has a habit of changing things
I hope the #hivelearners will forgive me of delving a little off topic. I didn't know if I should tell how fond memories can become sad over time. Or should I write about how sad memories can become more beautiful over time? In the end I figured I had to write about both. For a few reasons:
To tell anyone reading that you should enjoy the Christmas you have and make the best memories you can because things change and you never get them back.
To tell those people having a Christmas filled with sorrow. Even in sorrow there is still hope in the future. It may take a couple decades (like it did for me). It may never even come. However, Christmas is a time for Hope. So while this year may look bleak now ...
Remember:
Time does have a habit of healing all wounds.
and who knows you may even look back at a tough time in the future with fondness and with luck even a little wiser because of it.
Thanks for reading
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