People are Social Creatures

A lot of society based on that fact that people like being social. What is being social other than just enjoying the company of others and interacting well with them. I would hazard a guess that many if not all people wanted to be accepted by "the group" but what the group is and how they fit in differs from person to person.

How do people "fit in"?

I'm sure if I thought about it hard I could find a lot ways people try to find their place and fit in with society.

Some people use money to show they are worthy of their position in society
Some people use power to show they are the best in society.
Some people use their looks and "sexiness" to show their desirability in society.
Some people use intelligence
... or strong work ethic
... or learned skills
... or dependability
... athleticism or strength
... sense of humor or cunning

The list just goes on and on. However, I believe everyone has a need to feel like they have a place and value in society.

Place and Value in Society for Validation

I'm old school. I started life in a time before computers, cellphones, and the rest of the digital age. In the "Old Days" people wanted to fit in just as much now but the world was a much smaller place. It was enough to fit in with your Community, your Church, your Family with your Friends in your Nation. The overall community was much smaller. The world was much further away and the community was what really mattered.

It was also slower paced and more personal. At work you knew the same people in your shop or workplace. At home you had time with your family that wasn't interrupted with devices and internet. At church you tended to know everyone and people didn't come and go as much. If something good or bad happened there weren't a hundred people with cameras nearby to take pictures of it and spread it everywhere in an instant.

In short it was easy to feel validated. Smiles from regular customers. Family time after work. Community and Church events to make you feel connected. Plus a cushion from all the nastiness in the world because the bad news just felt so far from home.

People had an easier time feeling like they were valued in their community.

But times have changed

As the world has progressed it has become much more "Everyone, Everywhere, All at Once". It's crazy really.

Villages have become cities. People move with surprising frequency. Local communities are now being constantly bombarded with viewpoints, images, news, misinformation, ideas, and more from all over the globe all the time. Blink and you'll miss out. Have an opinion and someone will disagree in a moment.

Add in Photoshop to make images unrealistic. All in AI which can make the unreal look real. Add in camera angles, lighting, makeup, and so much more and things that are unrealistic can become normal in just a moment.

Instead of feeling like you belong in your community it is far easier to retreat to your safe home and cocoon there going online to find friends, value, love and validation.

I truly feel sorry for the younger generation. Trying to find love and companionship in today's society? Where you hear news of bad dates (male and female) constantly. Where you hear stories of catfishing, fake profiles, people out to use and hurt others at a rate that makes it scary to even consider meeting others. How on earth do people try to fit in and find validation in a crazy world?

Enter Social Media

The answer of course is Social Media.

Social Media where you can carefully construct the perfect image so people think you are awesome (reality not included).

Social Media where you can get instant validation by upvotes in seconds.

Social Media where you can tell just how "Good" you are by the number of subscribers you have.

Social Media where you can surround yourself with people with like views--no matter how fringe those ideas are, or how unrealistic or wrong they may be.

Nothing quite like Social Media to connect people across the planet in an increasingly chaotic world.

But at what cost?

The Cost of Social Media

I've never cared for Social Media. Sure you can make "Friends" and have "Followers" to a carefully curated account where every image is published to create just the right image. However, what kind of friends will you really get?

These aren't people you can count on when times are bad. They aren't people you can just go meet for coffee on a quiet afternoon. They aren't people you can invite over for dinner or a movie on a Friday night. They aren't people who can hug you when you are sad and they can't cheer you on as you overcome obstacles and reach goals.

But even a digital hug is better than none. Even a nice comment from someone you have never met is better than lonliness and solitude. For many who have grown up in a digital age much of their value and worth in society is based on their digital presence. For them, the loss of social media is the same as excommunication in ancient times.....or like being ostracized in high school in more recent ones. Being cut off for many of them is like being torn from their friends, being cut off from society, losing their source of validation.

In short. Losing Social Media will rock their identity to the core

But Social Media isn't all bad at all

Now while I don't personally care for social media it certainly does have value.

In what other way could I possibly meet new people from around the world? I mean on Hive I've met people from Nigeria (never would I have guessed I'd meet friends from Africa). I've met people from Pakistan and Bangladesh (who knew kissing was such a taboo in public over there). It's opened my eyes to a much wider world than I would have otherwise.

It has given me a meaningful way to share ideas with other people and also get ideas in return.

HIVE in particular is such a wonderful tool. In what other way could I possibly send money to someone halfway across the world in seconds? In what way could I possibly make an impact on someone elses life at virtually no cost from 10,000km away?

Social Media lets me stay in touch with peope from anywhere in the world in mere moments. A power that was never imaginable when I was a child.

I guess I'm lucky

I've been around long enough and seen enough to know that there is little on earth that I can find validation in.

My parents divorced and I quickly learned I can't find validation from a spouse. They can cheat or leave when the going gets tough.

I've have children that turned into teenagers. I've learned that you can't find validation from your children. They start off cute and dependent but can quickly become independent monsters when they become teenagers. I love my kids but have learned I can't lean on them to find my worth.

I've had a decent profession for almost 30 years. Sure its nice when people say thank you for the help you give them. However, enough people are mean and grumpy that trusting on my profession to find value will just lead to hard days when those customers say mean things.

Community, Church and Social Media are all equally fickle each in their own ways.

The only thing I've found validation in is being a Christian. The Bible hasn't changed in 2000 years. It has provided me a solid foundation for my life. Plus its honest up front--Be a Christian and be persecuted (or at least seen as odd). It doesn't ever claim that it will be easy--but that's a discussion for another time.

Mostly I'm lucky I know who I am, where I get my validation, and my place in society

Yes, I enjoy HIVE as a source of community and for the social nature

... but I do not let it define me.

Yes, I enjoy my Family, Work, and Friends.

... but I do not let them provide my validation.

If I was to leave Hive I'd be a bit sad because I do like seeing those upvotes come in. I do like seeing I have responses or have been mentioned. I love debating an idea or providing a counter-arguement. But it doesn't define me...and if it were to go away I wouldn't miss it long.

As for Facebook. Twitter/X, Snapchat and other social media. I see how much it pains my son when he breaks a streak on Snapchat. I see how much they worry about what they post and what gets posted about them. I see how big an influence their desire for the right image weighs on them.

But for me? I try to never use it. I look occassionally to see if their are births, deaths, marriages, or milestones. I see how well some of my cousins are doing and I share a smile at how well they are doing...sometimes a little envy that they have accomplished more than I hvae.

In the end though... I am not defined by social media as so many of the younger generation are. I'm so grateful I find validation elsewhere.

Final Thoughts

A fellow Hivian @gwajnberg wrote an article focusing more on the positive aspects of HIVE and social media in this article Source. I take a more negative view but will leave with this conclusion.

Social Media is a tool. It is no better or worse than the way it is used. It can bring people together or tear people apart. Used appropriately it can help people feel more connected to the world as a whole but used inappropriately it can lead to people cutting themselves off from the community nearby.

I hope people find their validation in places other than Social Media as I believe it can be very fickle. I'm glad I can easily disconnect, as I know who I am...I hope others find themselves and can be happy with or without Social Media by their side.

Thanks for reading and please feel free to post responses

...I always enjoy responses.

and as a final note: All images were created with Dall-E. All the words were mine 😁

Where do you seek validation?