I'm lucky to have had many great people in my life. Unfortunately as I grow older many of them are now gone. Their words, examples, and love are still with me though. What better time to share it than when #HiveLearners has a writing contest for best words of advice. Before I forget though I need the hashtags to get entered so here is my entry for #hl-exclusive and #hl-w57e2
Now I'm old school and had to dig through photo's that predate digital cameras to find images that would fit this post. Here is one that has three generations of my family in it:
This image is a little bittersweet. First: Because only half of the people in the photo are still alive. Second: Because it is the last photo of my family before a brutal year. Two months after this photo my maternal grandfather died. Three months after my second son was born. Five months after my father died. Eight months after my paternal grandfather (in the photo) died. Eleven months after my stepfathers father died. But this isn't a post about tough times, its a post about wisdom they passed down.
** From Across the Ages **
For truly good wisdom I find that the Bible is an excellent go to source. My second favorite book in the Bible is Proverbs which has many useful, practical bits of Wisdom. However, my favorite book would be Ecclesiastes
which many people may find strange. However, this quote has been a rock for me:
Why? Because it puts everything in perspective. Upvotes or downvotes, good days or bad, praise or ridicule... In the end it means nothing. The only thing that lives on is my relationship with God. In that light I don't have to worry about what others think or do. I focus on the only thing that matters.
However, I don't think that's the point of this contest. I think that I'm being asked to write about practical day to day wisdom from people I know. In that light first up is:
My Maternal Grandmother
She grew up during the Great Depression and I've never met anyone before or since who could compare with her ability to stretch a dollar. If I'm good at being thrifty she was the master! Also, her devotion to Jesus makes mine look truly weak...but I still have time to learn to match her.
However, the best advice she gave me was Don't let the sun go down on your anger which she gave to me. She gave that to me when she found out I was getting married. A little sad she died only a short time before my wedding. What I didn't realize at the time is that quote actually comes from the Bible also.
I misinterpreted her words at first. When I was newlywed I thought I had to solve all our arguments before bedtime. That didn't end well. What I later learned is that I shouldn't go to bed angry. I should let go of my anger so I can wake up with love for my wife again. I've been married over 20 years so I think its helping at least a little.
Next up
My Father
Now my father isn't exactly the best role model. He was handsome, intelligent, and could make money selling pretty much anything. He somehow managed to sell a single snowshoe one day by making up a cool story! However, he cheated on my mom when I was young and as a result my mom left him when I was 5 years old. I only saw him one or two times a year after that.
When I got married he came to the wedding and after that he gave my wife a small glass vial on a chain with gold in the vial. His advice, you never know when an emergency will arise and a little gold can be great to get you out of trouble. Simlar advice to me was Always keep some money in your wallet, you never know when you'll need it
But those pieces of advice aren't the ones that stick. He took me aside privately and gave me advice that
- Made me angry
- Was actually pretty decent advice
His words to me were "Son. After you have been married a couple of years you will want to start looking at other women. Don't do it, it's too expensive"
It made me angry because he was the one who cheated on MY MOM ! However, it wasn't bad advice. Married life is hard. A few years into it or even decades into it there is an easy trap to fall into.... looking at other women. Don't do it though. Yes, its expensive as my father said. However, not just in cash but also in self esteem and heartache. Guys I hope you heed my Dad's advice...stay true to your wife and your vows.
and my final words of wisdom
My Son
I hate to say it by my oldest son is far more capable than I am when it comes to working with things. Repairing the car. Wiring the house. Fixing the plumbing. In general almost anything to do with his hands he is far superior to me....and he is still only a teenager!
But a story leading up to his words of Wisdom.
He came home from a full day at work as an apprentice electrician only to find out his dishwasher wasn't working and his dishes weren't cleaned. He spent some time diagnosing the problem, figured out what was wrong and knew it had to be replaced. He called me down to help empty the dirty dishes, take the dishwasher outside, and go out and buy another one.
We checked out the different models, weighed the options, found out what was in stock then we bought one and took it home.
He then got to work installing it. He figured out all the electrical wiring. Got on his back to rework all the plumbing and 7 hours after finding the broken dishwasher he now had a beautiful new dishwashes installed.
I came downstairs to see how he was doing as he was just finishing up the cleanup. I admired his work and was very proud of him.
His next words to me made me laugh so hard and made me even prouder
He said:
"Dad. It's a good feeling knowing that I can do adult stuff like this. Going to work. Making a good purchasing decision. Fixing things in the house........
......
But you know what Dad?
.......
I never knew that being an adult was going to SUCK SO BAD!"
At that moment I knew that my son had truly grown up!
I haven't been prouder or laughed so hard in a long long time!
I hope you enjoyed my entry
(side note: his actual words were "I never knew adulting would suck so hard" but adulting isn't a real word in my books)