Growing up we are being taught by our parents, in school, and majorly in churches to forgive and forget, they say both words together, but growing up I have come to realize that both words don't go hand in gloves.
Forgiving isn't an easy decision to make, but it brings peace and gives us emotional freedom and absolute peace.
Forgeting isn't as easy as they meant us to understand, personally I would forgive, because my fate encourages it, but forgeting is quite impossible.
Bad memories are like scars, you keep remembering them.It is almost impossible to forget.
Forgeting to me is an unrealistic demand, because it's impossible to clear memories .
Being able to forgive and forget are two different actions, forgiveness comes from the heart while forgeting is clearing those memories and it very possible to forgive, and not forget.
It's very possible to forgive, but forgeting sounds unreal to me, humans don't forget easily, we just chose to move on and suppress the memories.
For instance,Vivian was in an abusive marriage, she was abused verbally, physically, emotional and otherwise, infact, she's living with the pain , losses and struggles of the marriage, and finally she left the marriage, and there's a need for reconciliation, and Vivian agrees to forgive her spouse, regardless of making her go through pain, do you think those painful memories will clear off or she would forget them immediately?
The answer is a "No" .
The fact that someone was forgiven, doesn't mean the memory is no more.
The victim, chooses to forgive, for her own peace and healing, it's important to note that forgiveness is what we do for ourselves, our peace, mental and emotional well-being.
That she forgave, doesn't mean she have forgotten, the memories are there, the memories might keep traumatizing her but she have choose to suppress and live above them.
Our brains keep memories, situations around us can make us remember someone's actions towards 10years ago, we choose to let it go and suppress pain, I don't believe forgeting is realistic, but forgiving can be possible.
Forgiveness is an action that we humans have control over, we can choose or decide to forgive, it's a conscious decision, a deliberate decision.
But to forget is very complex, because your brain stores memories, you can't delete a memory, especially a memory that hurts you.
Most times the memories sound as warning, lessons or advice we give to others.
Forgiving and forgeting are two separate deals, forgiveness will always exist without forgeting the pain.
An individual can moved on , even if they haven't forgotten and that's because they have accepted the situation and made a decision to not regard it or pay attention to it.
Forgeting isn't by choice, it's an action that cannot be controlled, but forgiving is an emotional decision, that frees you and gives you the peace of mind you deserve.
It's possible to move on and let go but still haven't forgotten or forgiven, moving on could be a choice to escape the pain the memory most have caused, moving on most times could be an escape from reality to stay away from the troubles you are going through.
Moving on, forgiving and forgeting are all different actions.
At the end, being able to forgive, is what's more important to embrace.
While forgiving is s realistic demand, forgetting isn't a realistic demand.