When you study humans, one thing you'll tend to notice from the majority is their desire to be loved, cared for, and adored by their loved ones, yet most still want to live private lives, making it difficult for their loved ones to know when to come in or not. In truth, it's a good thing to respect everyone's privacy, but if that lingers, it'll be difficult for us to know when our loved ones are hurt or need our attention, and today I'll love to share my take on these subjects as well as share a personal experience and gain a better understanding of my person when it comes to this.
To start with, the importance of respecting people's privacy can never be overemphasized. It's always good to stay in our lane to the extent at which they open themselves to us, because going beyond that could as well be tagged as intruding on their privacy, which, if passive by such individuals, might dent the relationship, so it's good to respect it. However, it's worth noting that I believe when it comes to these, they should be dependent on age, and we can also breach the privacy barrier if we notice or sense anything awkward in the life of the person.
Now, when I say these, it doesn't mean we should bang into people's privacy at every given time. What I mean is that when the situation is very obvious, for instance, a financial loss, marital issues, or breakup that could lead to depression and the like, if you notice a loved one has secluded themselves in such a situation for a long time, then it's best we breach their privacy to check up on them, so we won't later regret not doing so, because some people in such situations tend to later commit suicide or harm themselves out of pain and hurt.
But the. If the situation isn't too severe, then we can just observe from afar and try to reach out to the people on normal ground, hoping they'll open up to us about what they're going through and how we can be of help. It's understandable that not everyone finds it easy to open up to people about what's going on in their lives, and I'm probably one of such people because I live a private life and could also not share my problems with my loved ones regardless of how hurt I'm.
But earlier, I talked about age as a yardstick for knowing when we can respect people's privacy or not, and my reasons for saying this aren't far-fetched. As a parent, elder brother, or adult in a family to the young one, you've got some sense of responsibility towards the young ones, and in a situation when you notice something awkward about their behavior and lifestyle, then it's best you reach out to curb the situation before things get out of hand, although this is only valid when such a child is still below the age when they're allowed to do things their way.
Take, for instance, that a few years ago, my junior brother, who happens to be my parents' lastborn, was in the final year of his high school and was preparing to sit for WAEC in a few months, and then I noticed how he seems to have changed from being serious with his academics to focusing more on his look and neatness, especially when he's going to school. I enquired from him jokingly, but he said nothing, but then it keeps getting obvious, and you'll notice he doesn't even wake up early like he used to in the past.
One day, I decided I needed to look into this boy and see what was going on. Then, while he's bathing in the bathroom, I sneak into his room and check his bag. I noticed he has some home clothes inside his bag aside from the school uniform. I didn't tell him anything; instead, I closed the bag and went out. He came in, prepared, and went to school. I then traced his movements throughout that day.
After closing hour, rather than coming home, I saw him, his friends, and some female classmates putting on house wear and going in another direction. I ended up going to a restaurant, and after watching them for some time, I walked up to where they were sitting, and immediately he saw me. He started shivering. I didn't alter a word; instead, I turned and went home, and I could feel him following me as I walked towards a bike. Not long after I got home, he also came but wasn't confident enough to enter the house out of fear.
I later made him enter the house, and after several questions, he confessed all that had been going on, although at first he wanted to lie. But when I made him understand I've been monitoring him since and he realized I'm telling the truth, he had no choice but to say the truth. Later, I found out he's even got a girlfriend, which I'm not cool with given his age and the exam that lies ahead.
I did ask him to end the relationship, and even though he promised he would, he didn't until one night when I went to his room and took his phone while he was chatting at midnight. I had to tell the girl to focus on her academics for now, and if at all they truly love each other, then they can pursue that dream later, but for now, that's out of the question, and if they didn't end the relationship, then I'll report to her parents. I guess that scared her off. I squeezed my brother's phone and made sure to counsel both of them.
I know bagging into his room, checking his bag, looking through his phone, and the like could be seen as an invasion of privacy, but it's what it's; he's still young, and the lifestyle he was living and embarking on then could have dented his future had I not done what I did then.
Thanks so much for your time, have a lovely day and stay bless.
All photos taken and designed on canvas