Parent-child relationships are suppose to be some of the closest ever, especially during a child's tender years, but unfortunately not everyone is lucky enough to have such. I, for one, am a living example of one of the worst experiences a child can go through during childhood. Luckily, I'm still here to tell my story, and I hope it helps you in any way possible when raising your child.
This article talks about and entails my childhood experiences as they pertain to my upbringing and the relationship I had with my parents, or should I just say guidance since I spent most of my childhood with several adults and not with my parents like my other siblings were lucky to have. It was a rollercoaster experience that had more bad sides than good, and I hope this teaches every parent and aspiring parent who reads this a lesson on what the relationship with their child should be like.
I was probably between the ages of 5 and 7 when I was sent to live with my grandparents with the hope of helping them do basic housework in their old age. Had it been just them, then life would probably have been much fairer than with my terrible uncles and aunts, with whom we all stay together at my grandparents' house.
For starters, I was treated nicely in my first few weeks of arriving, but after that, things fell apart, and I began to see the other side of my supposed beloved uncles and aunts. I went through a series of abuses that any child can go through, from physical to sexual to mental and even verbal abuse.
I was literally mentally down. I contemplated running away from home on several occasions, but the fear of what that would cause to my aging grandparents made me usually abort the mission. There were days I even wished I was dead or could take my life, but it never really became reality. But I was far from happy as a child, and in the end, I've got no one to talk to.
My grandparents are loving and caring people who are also disciplinarians, but due to old age, they can't let them do this very well anymore. They spent most of their time in the church and only came back home in the evening, and the first time I was physically abused by my uncle, I reported it to them, and they didn't take it lightly with him, but after that, my uncles and aunts devised a strategy to report how bad I was immediately, before I would have an opportunity to report them.
So basically, I've got no one to run to and speak out my mind or what I'm going through; I just have to let all this die within me and keep suffering more and more of such torment. Several times I was sexually abused by my aunts, and I dared not tell anyone. Now imagine such a situation when someone who's supposed to be my guide is the one abusing me. That made it impossible for me to even have the courage to report it when other female neighbors did the same.
Ya, I might not feel any pain, but I know it isn't right. Whenever I fail to do their bidding, I get punished for any mistakes I make in the house thereafter. I usually wish I stayed with my parents, because at least they'll understand and give me a chance to speak; even then, I get into a lot of trouble whenever my uncle has an issue with my fiancée.
My uncle and his fiancée are the type that can't go within a month without fighting or having one dispute or another, and whenever such happens, I am always in-between each of their attempts to communicate with each other. Then there weren't telephones, so the other means of communication was via letter writing.
My uncle will write a letter and give it to me to take it to his fiancée, and that one will slap and beat me without taking the letter, and most times my uncle will tell me never to return home if I don't deliver his massage, and the fiancée will refuse to accept the letter, so I end up crying all day in the middle of the street until my grandparents are back from the church.
Those were terrible days, and that has led me to have the mindset that once I become a parent myself, I wouldn't under any condition let my child go stay with anyone. No matter the relationship we've built together, I'll make sure my kids stay with me throughout their childhood, until they are old enough to stay by themselves.
Also, I've made it a must that once I become a parent, I'll give my children my attention at all times. I know it might seem impossible given the fact that I might go out to hustle for money to cater for everyone, but I believe the mindset of not letting my children feel alone, vulnerable, and depressed like I was is what will trigger how I'll always create time for them.
And in the end, by doing the above, I know and hope this will help correct most of the challenges I had as a child, not having anyone to turn to for help, because I want my children to see me not just as their father but also as their friend, and to make my abode a safe haven where they can say anything that's bothering them.
Thanks so much for reading through this; I hope you had a great read. This is a true life story of myself regarding my parent-child relationship, and I also stated how I hope to correct the loophole in raising my own kids. The article was inspired by a HIVE Learners community prompt, and you can go through Kronia's post to get the full details.
NOTE: I make use of Quillbot grammar checker features to help correct some of my grammatical and punctuation errors after writing my content by myself.
Thanks for the your time, have a blessed day ahead.