There are like so many ways to indirectly or directly accuse a person, some are even intention, and some are unintentional, but either ways, accusing a person wrongly, I repeat wrongly, cause you do not know how the person you are accusing feels, you do not know what the person is literally passing through at that moment, it feels like terror, it feels like a threat, the fear of what others will think of him even though he is innocent, the wrong impression and perception of other people around, the fear of being ashamed for the wrong accusations, the pain and anger, all the thoughts going through your mind at that time, the thoughts of revenge and payback, etc...
Many at times, we humans assume a lot, and so without confirmations, we just get to conclude on a particular persons matter, and so we give the person another frame of what is not, and trust me, it is very wrong, assumption can lead us right, and at the same time, assumptions can still lead us astray, it can make us do what we shouldn't have done and so at the end, after we have already acted to whatever situation we assumed on, we then get to regret that you were wrong, and so the black Paint or the mud then comes back to your face, is that what we want? Nahh, no body wants that...
So i'd it be sharing a short story of something that happened to me last year, An assumption that kinda led to am accusation.
I talked about me going to a photography class to professionally study photography, and during the course of that, I met a lady that we do the same kind of photography, and come to think of it, you are in a new environment, and so you met someone that does what you do out of the multitude, wouldn't you feel comfortable to network with that person, you know, get to know each other, learn from each other, grow and be better than what you used to be...
This was me trying to get familiar with someone that seems to be cozy enough to accommodate friendship and partners in photography class. At first it was going so well, well enough to convinc me that we could be friends officially, but unfortunately for me, there was a misunderstanding, (let me break this in pieces)
We were going home one day after class, we were about 4 that day going together, and so I kinda annoyed her and do I was trying to apologize and so I went to the extent of kneeling down with one kneel, holding her hand, and so the other guys took it in the other way, romantically, so she thought I was using that opportunity to actually propose to her, and so she got more angry left, she didn't reply me, didn't return my missed calls, I got confused, what exactly is making this girl angry, I really thought till I was out of ideas, and so she didn't speak to me for some weeks, I had to take it like that.
The next thing was that I saw her with our instructor one day, and so he called me talked me through what she had reported to him. And then later, she messaged me, telling me that she had heard my apologies, (cause I apologized for what I had no idea for) and so she was like: I do not want us to be anything other than just colleagues, and after I heard this, my own anger aroused, I was like what did you just say? And I had to ask her if she was mad, I ask her, who are you? Is that why you are angry?
I thought and thought and still thought of anything that could make this girl angry at me, I didn't expect that she was angry cause she thought I liked her, and this didn't even cross my mind at all, I was so mad a her.
I really hate that kind of thing, she could have asked, and if clear her, but after I found out why she was angry, I had to clear her in a way she didn't like, I was so pissed that I couldn't hold my tongue, I had to give her a little insults, I told he I was so disappointed in her slow thinking and perspective on viewing matters, I told her I expected more, but she don fall my hands, and I won't communicate with her again.
I had to tell our instructor that as well, and so she asked me as the man to just give a public apology to her, I was so emotional and embarrassed and angry, I just had to do it, but still didn't talk to her for a while.
After a while, I had to just let things go, if not what would be the difference between me and her, I had to show her what maturity meant, and so we started talking again, she sometimes takes pictures and send to my DM to clarify, and so we still became that friends I wanted us to be in the beginning, but we weren't as close as we were or were supposed to be.
And that's it, do not judge some people's action if you are not sure.
Thanks for your time, thanks for patients with me, I really appreciate.
PS: this post is dedicated to the Hivelearners Weekly Featured contest Week 64 edition 3