Loneliness does not enjoy the best publicity. Often, just naming it is enough to imply that something negative or bad is happening. And on many occasions, it may well be. There is an epidemic of loneliness at home that is worrying, especially due to the rise of individuality and little empathy between human beings... However, on that occasion, I decided to do something I read in a book by Hermann Hesse: ‘Walk a path, near the end of the afternoon, in the total absence of company and by the time you finish, you will feel full, and in real connection with yourself’.
Anyone who has read Hesse will know that he is not exactly an author of self-help or empty, mainstream rabbits. In fact, I decided to do what I had read of his, precisely because I identified with him. For the past month, I've been sandwiched between holiday shopping, year-end busyness at work, and my duties as a mother, so I felt like I was missing out on myself. I didn't feel like I had time to do anything. And that feeling can be overwhelming? It's not easy to look at yourself and know that something is going wrong or not as it should be but you don't know exactly what it is....
So, I decided to take a long walk (from one end of my city to the other. Across the expanse of San Diego, Venezuela). I wanted to get as far away from home as possible. I felt it was the right thing to do. I hate monotony, and I'm all for breaking patterns and improving anything that feels repetitive, exhaustive, until it gets better. Wednesday afternoon, January 1, 2025, the city alone as it rarely is this year. Just what I had in mind. To my surprise, public transport was running normally, and I was able to start my little journey without any problems.
I moved from home to an area where trees, paths and dry autumn leaves adorn the pavement of the streets. Immediately, as I started the walking tour, I noticed the climate of the place. Cool, a bit chilly and with a wind that makes itself felt. I had thought about putting together a set list and listening to music while I didn't utter a word but for some reason, I abandoned that idea at the last minute. There was only me, my steps, my mind in search of serenity and togetherness; and me.... I walked several kilometres, I don't know exactly how many, but I only stopped when I saw an abandoned children's playground?
Normally a place for children to play and have fun, it had seen better years in the past. Now, it was just a facade that, in the colours of a January evening's sunset, simply looked beautifully chaotic. In that place I stopped. I simply could not miss how the sun filtered its rays on the horizon. What you see in the pictures does not do justice to what it really was.... I think my entire 2025 start walk lasted just over 3 hours. I left home at 16:00 hrs and before I knew it, I arrived at 19:00 hrs.... I never looked at my mobile phone for notifications or communication with anything or anyone... I was only immersed in my solitude. That, which is not always negative or ‘bad’, but necessary and useful. Especially for the mind.
All photographs and content used in this post are my own. Therefore, they have been used under my permission and are my property.
