Hello everyone ! :)
Here comes the story of a long run and still unfinished digital painting I started a couple of weeks ago.
At least it's the story of how it started... The rest just followed the intial impulse.
The Yin of your Yang, the Light of your Shadow, the Good of your Bad... Or the opposite?
I guess that most of us have in our surroundings someone who seem to gather in one person the exact opposite of what we've defined as our very own and essential system of values. It looks like as if there was a secret project to create...
...the ultimate and perfectly balanced duet of reciprocal ballbreakers!
As far as I'm concerned, working in a environment that tends to become more and more focused on blind obedience, I've felt slowly sourrounded by people who represent the exact way to behave that I can't (under)stand...
Obviously, that's mutual, and thus I can't blame them :D
Luckily, by looking back, far behind me, I can see a couple of passed decades (not thaaaat much, heh! but still a bit of them) that taught me how toxic and self-destructive can be an open conflict between a pair of "negativeselves", so I tend to keep my own opposites away as much as possible.
Sometimes, that can't be done... And... Well... Frustration, anger and such nice things quickly pile up while I'm trying to roll with the punches thrown by these negative "myselves".
But I'm glad that I was granted with a Superpower!
Yes !
A kickass power able to vent that crap out !
The almighty power to paint weird and random crappy stuff from my irritated and stimulated Imagination!
And let me say that Negativity, Darkness, and Anger, all linked with a touch of Deep Unidentified Fear are quite strong stimuli for that dear Auntie Imagination :D
At first: Reacting as an immature puppet.
My first intent, in an immediate and revengeful momentum, was to use that power against my Nemesis of the day... With some insulting caricature of that person.
It was just here: behind my eyes, still inside my head, and might have ended as something like this great/crappy piece of art/junk:
It stayed inthere, though, and I'm pretty happy of that, because I'm sure that'd have made me one of the piggy puppets in that chain, and not in the mot comfortable wagon of the train...
Decades...
Behind me...
Do you remember ?
At that precise moment, I almost forgot that they should have injected a tiny bit of wisdom into the fleshbag that I am.
Almost forgotten.
Then: understanding that Dark Muses are great Muses.
Negative things in our lives can act as Muses, but the hardest part before that is to accept the idea that these irritating and hurting external elements simply manage to hit deep personal vulnerabilities that we didn't spot before the punch.
So, instead of portraying that day's irritating person, whose presence would have been engraved forever in my inner world's intimacy (Ugh! Never! 😫), I suddenly understood how thrilling it could be to explore the emotional state I was wallowing into.
Pretty disturbed, isn't it ? 😀
Since it started, I couldn't stop expanding this InnerChaos' cartography:
Out of the good technical practice it represents, working on this clearly had a soothing effect on my state, but this piece seems to be so closely tied to my bad mood that I can't find any interest in working on it when happy or quiet...
Due to this, I'm not really sure whether I'd want it to be finished or not, but I know for sure that life will always find fragile parts to kick, which should add some more angry or whiny coloured strokes to this painting 😀
Anyways !
That was quite a lot of talk for a few pictures, so I must thank any of you who made it to this sentence !
Thank for your time, Hive people, and have a great and fantastic day, as far as possible from your "negative-yourselves's" influence! 😉
Berien
All artwork in this post, uncluding the worst : (c)Berien2021
Oh ! And same with all form of unstoppable blah-blah :D