A story about reclaiming artwork and over-coming an art block caused by outside influences.
Lake Tahoe sits on the edge of two states. Straddling the state line, this gorgeous natural high altitude lake was named by the Washoe Native Americans. Lake Tahoe means "Lake of the Sky" and it truly is at 6,220ft above sea level. Crystal clear waters, coarse sandy beaches, towering pines, glacial boulders dotting the shoreline; this heavenly place has a piece of my heart and a large part of my past.
Picture I took of South Lake Tahoe from a secret look out spot
My dad grew up in South Lake Tahoe in the 60s, long before it was a city. He tells so many fun stories of his past there and has shared many of Tahoe's secrets with me and my sister. When I was 6, my family went in together to buy a Tahoe house we could all share. My dad is the oldest of 12! Yes, 12...I have almost 40 first cousins. I grew up going to Lake Tahoe 3-4 times a year if not more with all my paternal family. It was always a full house in Tahoe, but made it all the more fun that way.
My dad and I hiking the Tahoe Forest near Fallen Leaf Lake
When I got into my 20s, I ended up moving to North Lake Tahoe area and lived up there deep in the woods in a close nearby town for 5 years with my partner. It was quite the experience snowed in for weeks at a time, tending to 5 acres in thick woodlands, wild animals constantly crossing our yard, spending all summer at rivers and in nature. It was hard living, but also magical; I loved it.
The garden on our property in summer
The garden on our property in winter
I won't ramble on as I have many many Lake Tahoe stories. This isn't a story just about Tahoe, this is about my art, but as you can see Lake Tahoe holds a huge part of my heart. So when I was accepted to live paint at Guitarfish in 2019, a festival only 20 mins from my house, in the heart of the Tahoe forest, I was ecstatic.
Sketch of my idea for the piece
Guitar Fish Music Festival. If you've never heard of it, its probably because they haven't put on a fest since 2019; and its probably because of how it was run plus how artist & volunteers were treated. I don't think many wanted to return... Without the main artery of music and art or the left ventricle of volunteers; the beating heart of a music festival cannot function and it dies.
In all of my almost 8 full years painting live at events, this festival is the ONLY one I have ever left early due to mistreatment. (arrived Thurs, left Friday evening. Festival went until Sunday night) I've come close before at other events, but never to that tipping point like Guitarfish. I have still to this day never experienced such vindictive attitude from a production crew that literally put my life at risk to make themselves feel bigger.
I wont get into gritty details, but to note the kicker that made me pack up and leave was when the lead gal on production straight up got someone to park their car right in front of my tent, so close I could barely get out of it(almost trapped inside) and had their exhaust pipe pointed right at my tent door and left the car running, filling my tent with carbon monoxide. I sat in my tent in utter disbelief, slowly choking on fumes listening as this gal brings her car over, parked it like she did, knowing it was my tent (she placed me there the day before) and then walked away laughing with a friend knowing full well what they had just done to me.
Working on the Guitarfish piece, night one (Thursday) at the festival
After I had escaped my deadly tent I confronted and called her out a few hours later (the car was STILL running fumes into my tent); she could care less. I was appalled. I packed up and left in tears. I couldn't believe I had been treated so poorly when I had been invited by these people to come paint for their festival. That my life had been threatened like that all because I had asked a few questions, pushed back by speaking up for myself and not taking the bad treatment laying down. I was not the only one being treated badly on the crew, but the only one speaking up unfortunately and possibly why I was targeted by this lead gal.
Because of that whole experience I had a bad taste in my mouth for this piece I had planned and started painting at this festival. Especially since I had designed it with the festival name incorporated into it as it was to be auctioned off on the last day of the festival. And so for years it sat buried behind tons of canvas in my studio, abandoned.
The piece on wood board from Guitarfish Festival. How it looked when I abandoned it.
The unfortunate part about the art being abandoned was that I really loved the piece I had planned to make and was excited for how it was coming out when I started it. Lake Tahoe was the center of the inspiration and held parts of what makes that place special to me, but every time I looked at the piece I was disheartened by my experience and blocked in trying to see it finished. I had let this horrible experience dictate my creative expression, or lack of. I had allowed it to construct itself into an artist block, yet I couldn't find the heart to erase it or let it go. And so it sat…
A little hint at what's to come in part2
Thanks so much for taking the time to read about my story and artist block. Look for Part 2 and the reveal of the finished piece and how I overcame the block when I post Part 2 tomorrow!
PART 2: @breelikeatree/overcoming-an-artist-block-part-2-and-the-art-reveal
Have a lovely day everyone!