There was no emergency. Regretfully, (excuse my dark humor), I didn’t break my leg, have a panic attack, or get scooped up by a hot medic. Yet I sat inside an ambulance with my back on the driver’s seat, my purse on my lap, and my eyes on the dizzying road. We were moving fast. Faster than I expected. Eventually, we made a quick halt in front of a town hall, and the door to my left slid like skates on ice.
“Hi!”
A chirpy voice said and then a head of gray streaks and soft waves popped inside. Like a startled prey, I froze. I wasn’t expecting another person inside the ambulance with me. The woman sat on the orange stretcher, facing me.
“I’m Flor,” she said.
Flor introduced herself as a physician, working in the public health sector under the dengue department.
“I’m Ish,” I responded.
We were breezing through the traffic again. I wondered whether objects inside an ambulance ever fall then my train of thought got interrupted.
“So what would you be doing?” Flor asked.
“You mean, the mental health talk?”
“Yeah!”
“I’ll talk about the fundamentals—”
She leaned closer, gesturing she couldn’t hear me well.
“The basics of mental health and how we can define it,” I spoke louder. “Why it’s important to talk about it, especially since our audience would be parents.”
“Oh!” she said. “Yeah since the pandemic started, many people are experiencing mental health issues, right? I’ve handled cases where kids die by suicide. It’s very unfortunate, so this is a relevant topic.”
Then she looked at my face for a second longer.
“How young are you?” she asked.
Startled at the personal question, I took a long pause before I replied.
“24,”
The question of age always makes me nervous. Either I look too young for my age and people don’t take me seriously, or I look too young and people find it odd that I speak maturely; Flor felt the latter.
“It’s good that you could do this already while being very young,”
Her emphasis on the word made me think of my college publication adviser, who called me a “girl.” He always made me feel small, like a bug in a room full of reptiles. Whenever I spoke in our office, it felt like he couldn’t hear me, not until I got close to his ear, resulting in his version of swatting a fly. But of course, Flor didn’t know this. So I said:
“They say I grew up too fast,” I chuckled.
“Oh, so what’s the story there?”
“Hm?”
“What’s your story? How come you do speakerships for mental health?”
Flor was eager to ask very direct questions that, without her noticing, her tumbler fell on the shelf after we drove over a speed bump. While she scrambled to get her tumbler, I had a moment to think of an answer. What says, “We’re not that close to give specific details, but also, I'm not that closed off because it’s okay to talk about my past experiences”?
“Sorry about that,” she said, brushing off her hair from her face.
“That’s okay,” I said. “Um, so I’m a Psychology graduate and a registered Psychometrician, which paved the way to my advocacy. It’s called ‘The Wounded Healer’ so the wounded part is because I have mental health issues too. I understand what depression and anxiety are at a deeper level, and I talk about it as a resource speaker,”
“Oh,”
If we weren’t in a moving vehicle, I would’ve told her why. I would tell her how my world was shaped by kids acting like adults and vice versa. As a result, there is a profound despair in my soul that began like my father’s cigarette smoke – self-consuming and intoxicating – but I’ve learned to be friends with. So I have an air of maturity to the way I speak.
“I’m hoping to structure the seminar from general topics to specific, like defining mental health to understanding youth’s mental health. That would work, right?” I said.
“I think so,” she said. “I’m excited to hear your talk, I’m sure you’ll help these parents—”
“Yes, and even if I just help one mother or father to be aware then I’ve done my part,”
“Exactly!”
“Dr. Flor, can I ask you a question?”
“Have you always wanted to be a doctor?”
There was no emergency, but her eyes looked like she was caught in between an accident. She didn’t like this question, I could tell, yet what she said next surprised me.
To be continued on the next chapter! 😁
This is based on a true encounter, read about the seminar here.
