We're in this together, we'll keep our faith and smile to keep pressing in
I got married in Feb 2018 and started trying to get children in Oct 2018. Sharing part of my journey through this almost 4-years struggle.
It definitely hasn't been an easy journey. I naively thought that getting pregnant will be super easy or at least, within a few tries. Yup, very naive indeed. I prepared my body by reducing my coffee intake, reducing and at one long point, eliminating alcohol consumption, stopped consuming some herbal food/drinks, sleeping earlier than usual (those who know me know how late I usually sleep), and started taking care of my body.
Saw a lot of this view during the journey
We never stopped trying since the start and it involved a lot of tears. Tears of disappointment, tears of fear, tears of anxiety, tears.. tears.. tears.. it was really a lot of them. I started blaming myself thinking that it was my fault that I am not able to give my father and in-laws grandchildren. My thoughts started spiraling down negatively and it was scary. Good thing, I know that I was in that spiraling mode and I quickly took action to stop it albeit its difficulties nonetheless, it was very important I hit the breaks on it.
My husband was my pillar of confidence, strength, and comfort during these times. He has been so amazing to comfort me and says things like "we're in this together", "we'll be okay", "God's got this" and some very personal encouragements. For me, this is very important. Since the beginning of the journey, we've gotten closer to each other in many ways, leaning to God and just pressing in prayer & worship through this. He helped me refocus back on God's goodness and promises for our lives.
Always a work in progress....
It took almost 3 years to be okay and where I am now. I no longer feel sad when I hear other people easily getting pregnant and giving birth. This is not forgetting that people do go through their own journies and difficulties. I am able to look at and enjoy the children around me and spend time with them without feeling sorry for myself or even guilty, and most importantly to continue to have hope and keep trying. Lots happened internally, and I am coming out of it stronger and benefitted in many ways.
I am still on this journey, but I can say, I feel victorious and I know children are on the way! I can say this confidently without any doubt and focus on what kind of parent we would want to be. Albeit the delay, it gives us lots of time to align ourselves as husband and wife into what we want for our children and that is especially important & essential for the times that we're living in.
Thank you for being patient in reading this long post. I figured to finally pen down my journey here :) There will be a more similar post highlighting different parts of my journey in the near future.
PS: that is an ovulation stick, to test when I am ovulating which is always negative. In other words, no ovulation. This story is for another post.