“See, what it is, is, there's uppity Ludlows and there's workity Ludlows, but Capt. Ludlow next door has started a whole new thing: Hell-to-Pay Ludlows, and when you mess with them and anybody they care about, you find out his kinds of Ludlows exist!”
Eleven-year-old Velma Trent was explaining the latest on Uppity Foolery Watch to her own mom, Mrs. Melissa Trent.
“Ain't it the truth,” eight-year-old Gracie Trent said to back up her sister. “When Edwina chased Big Glendella Ludlow out of the neighborhood – when eight year olds are putting sixty-eight year olds to flight – everybody should already know that these Hell-to-Pay Ludlows and anyone they choose to protect are not to be messed with – and y'all shoulda seen that tank Grayson, Robert, George, and Andrew threw together from Legos and rolled out to back Edwina up!”
“They're already two generations deep, so I don't know why Astor Ludlow even bothered to break out of the asylum just to go right back – it just makes no sense,” Velma said.
“Ain't it the truth, Velma, ain't it the truth.”
It really didn't make any sense for a lot of reasons, because Uppity Foolery Watch couldn't keep up with everything … they didn't account for Astor Ludlow having been a champion rock climber and so putting him on a second floor with a iron lattice for heavy vines could not hold him once he knew that... they didn't account for a certain cousin of his remembering that and setting him up with a getaway car to drive him back to what Astor called 'my winery,' just in time to see the Ludlow Bubbly Historical Vintage Line sign go up. That was the part Uppity Foolery Watch captured.
“68 years old and still got that vertical leap, though,” that certain cousin said to Vanderbilt Ludlow as they watched Astor Ludlow leap up and pull that sign down with his bare hands only to be picked up, packed up, and taken back to the asylum again.
“Yep, Robert, he does.”
Meanwhile, the wife of Midas Ludlow had been talking with the 'handlers' in her family to go get Vanderbilt, only to have all of them picked up and her too, because somebody tipped off the Special Investigations Unit of the Big Loft Police Department about a murder done in Big Loft to a rival winemaker twenty years earlier. It just so happened that in tracing the embezzlement Midas Ludlow had been doing, Vanderbilt Ludlow had discovered the payment made to the handlers, and that payment corresponded to the evidence in the cold case Special Investigations had been working. The captain of Special Investigations, by the way, just happened to be Colonel Henry Fitzhugh “Angel of Death” Lee in his first civilian job. He was also cousin to Captain Robert Edward “Hell to Pay” Ludlow.
Vanderbilt Ludlow had not been under his cousin Robert's roof for 24 hours before the threats to his life had been neutralized.
“But see, I remembered, although I really wasn't even thinking about a demonstration,” Vanderbilt said as they sat on the porch drinking lemonade. "We're the same age, so I remember what happened to all the boys messing with our Ludlow girl cousins in high school – some of those men are still messed up. I wasn't trying to trigger a live demonstration of what was said then about there being hell to pay for messing with you and yours, but thank you all the same!”
“You're welcome, Vanderbilt,” Capt. Ludlow said. “I'm still the same man, 42 years older, and like Sheriff Alexander would say, I'm as smooth as sandpaper to those who mess with me or anyone I care about. We were never close, growing up, but I noticed that you didn't do foolery, and I respected that as a young man about you. I don't have a problem making your life easier now, because it has to be done for the sake of the family name we share, and because you've always tried to do the best by everyone.”
“I've tried – I can't even deal with my own family working against me like this – but Robert, you've proven yourself to be more family to me than my own branch … and then what you have done for Glendella … she has a happiness and freedom here Susanna and I could never give her, although we wanted to … thank you.”
“My duty, my honor, my pleasure, Vanderbilt. Welcome to this new thing in the Ludlow family.”
“See – I told you!” Velma Trent said to her mother, who pulled an incredulous face.
“Ain't it the truth,” said Gracie.