DARKNESS..."
The absence of light, wickedness, evilness, sadness, comfort, and peace.
The rising sun shone softly on the streets, and it cast a golden hue across the morning sky, bringing a flurry of early activity. Light of dawn seeped into my room and as I opened the window, the morning melodic birdsong drifted in, sending chills to my ears. The golden fingers crossed my bleary eyes and I rubbed them and saw a pearly glow in the sky. The day was so bright, a sign of new hope and aspirations.
Inside my room, I found comfort and peace. I am who I am, I lived the life I wanted to be. But I wanted to explore the world so I stepped out of my comfort zone and faced the crowd. As I walked on the rowdy streets, I bumped into different peeps. As if I saw the world in front of me. My head was filled with thoughts of reality - life, love, hate, peace, war, and death. They were all clouded with untruth fantasies, giving confusions to anyone who dared to make sense of it.
The energy in the crowd was contagious, the warmth bubbled beneath my skin and vibrated down to my bones. The day was too bright but seemed too dark. Different faces, different places, different phases, different cases. The noise was exhilarating, and the deafening sounds zinging through all the people. Crimes, humiliations, frauds, corruptions, violations, vices, conspiracies, scandals, wickedness, evilness, whatever you call them, were all over the place. I hated the noise as well as jumping at every brushing touch. What if there is a hidden enemy? I was confounded by the scenes and the stories behind every wall and bar started to unfold. There was no peace anymore, and the light started to diminish.
I wanted to scream, I wanted to run, and I ran back to my room, hurriedly shut it, and blocked every hole that will allow the noise to drift in. I blocked all the holes and spaces, the room was filled with darkness and flooded with silence. I covered my ears and shut my eyes. There was peace, finally, I was relieved. But the silence was more deafening, different thoughts entering my mind, negative, positive, but mostly negative. I stood up but the darkness was pulling me down. It's tying me, it wanted to cover my whole body.
I wanted to scream, I wanted to run, and I so I cut the rope and ran outside. I ran and ran until I saw familiar faces. My pace slowed down, my body calmed down. Yes, they were familiar, because they were my family. My heart beats faster, my mind was flooded with excitement. I wanted to hug them, I wanted to be with them, I wanted their comfort, I wanted their warmth. But as I stepped into our home, heavy burdens were placed on my shoulder. I carried a heavy burden of responsibilities. I thought I can find peace at home, I thought it was a tranquil place, but it was full of chaos and my mind became not at ease.
My friends, I thought of my friends, I ran to look for them, but they were nowhere to be found. I wanted to scream, I wanted to run, and I ran and ran and ran. I ran to a place where no one can find me, where no one knows anything about me, no noise, no chaos, no heavy burdens, just peace. In that place, specks of dust danced with me, I spread my arms and let my body bathed the warm light of the afternoon sun. I loved to watch the blue sky dotted with fluffy white clouds, they made me relax, my mind calmed down. I thought I will be at peace in that place, but the evening sun rays traveled through the trees and created mysterious shadows, and cast long shadows on the ground, dark and crawling towards me.
It was chasing me, I wanted to scream, I wanted to run. So I ran and ran and ran into the darkness where I found peace, inside my zone I found peace. No more lights, no more noise, no more burdens, just peace. Long hours have passed, I was still in the dark. Hours became days, days became months, months became years, for how long will I be stuck here? Thoughts were racing in my mind, negative was chasing positive. It stopped and the positive was covered. Negative thoughts were clawing my mind, leashing every synapse, blocking every lobe, it's screaming so loud, "you are weak, you are incompetent, you are ugly, you are dumb."
I wanted to scream, I wanted to run. So I ran and ran and tripped over a coiled rope and I fell. "Grab the rope" my mind shouted. "Grab the rope" it echoed repeatedly. There was no light, there was no hope, there was no one to lean on. "Just die, you are useless, just die." I was lost in the dark, "maybe the rope can save me," I thought. I grabbed it and hanged myself on the top. No one will save me, no lights, only dark, I know, I will be at peace.
In the count of three, I jumped, I jumped into the darkness, there was silence, finally, I found peace.
(Image from https://www.telegraphindia.com/amp/india/plumber-suicide-over-lack-of-work/cid/1715099)
The End.