I always believe that in order to move up and achieve success, you have to put extra effort beyond what you are expected to do. That means working extra-long hours per shift, trying harder despite knowing your limitations and capabilities, and staying in your four-walled cubicle just to finish the task assigned to you. That is what I keep believing. For me, it’s the only staircase that will lead me to the success I have envisioned.
So here I am. Accepting tasks that no one would volunteer to do. I took the initiative to acquire the tasks even though it’s not the ‘actual’ role I was hired for. Because I thought to myself that in this way, they will see my competence, they will notice my effort, and they will realize how dedicated and passionate I am. Heck! This is how I will get their attention. I became the person whom they can ask every single time if they want help. In short, I became a convenience. A superhero. A lifesaver. The person whom they can find reliable when everyone else logs out.
I thought that I was doing a pretty good job. I thought…little by little, I am becoming close to my dreams. But I think I was wrong. I think I was blinded.
Weeks and months flew by like a flash, and within that time, I have never ever gotten a single recognition. Every time I submit the finished work I work hard overnight, they will just accept it, then dismiss me without a single word. Without even saying a thank you or I appreciate your effort. It never came. I expected that my efforts would be visible to those people who are seated in higher positions. But no, they didn’t. They didn’t, or they just kept a blind eye to acknowledge?
Silence became an answer to everything I invested in.
That is when I realized that I might be a fool. A fool who lets other people use me like I am a tool. There was never a finish line at the end of the staircase. All of what I envisioned is just a mind trick that fueled me to keep going despite the absence of recognition. I am angry. I balled my fist tightly to the point that I could feel my nails digging into my palms, which eventually left a bruise. I am angry at myself for believing such trivial things. I am angry at them for not seeing me. I am angry at the system that I thought was worth following.
Why did I let myself be a person who can be taken advantage of?
In this world, we thought that the more you give, the more you will be appreciated. But that’s wrong. Sometimes, the more you give and the more you show your goodness, the higher the possibility that you will be used and taken advantage of by the people you thought could see your worth.
So, I stopped. I stopped being the person whom they can rely upon. I stopped being too naïve. I stopped being too good. Just like everyone else, I chose to work on the background. No more accepting tasks that are not related to what I applied. In this way, there are no expectations. In this way, at least I can keep my peace of mind.
In the end, why would I do something extraordinary if it just means that my efforts would turn out just invisible? Why would I go to lengths if a simple ‘thank you’ is hard to earn?
In a system where most of the time, efforts are invalidated, I chose to be someone who sets boundaries over burnout. I chose my peace over being a corporate slave of someone who sits in a royal chair.
In a place where there is no incentive, I finally stopped giving mine.