Trigger warning : This post isn't for the faint of heart, it contains actual photos of what leaving narcissistic abuse can result in even after the police has been called several times. I know ya'll hate these posts because maybe they are too real for you to handle but remember, if reading is too weird, imagine someone living the nightmare, the one everyone is weirded out reading about.
This is a photo of a campfire previously shared under my ladybug account because I didn't want to traumatize anyone with photos of a burned down complex as a header.
I know my last 2 posts were kinda weird but truth nonetheless and I don't care how anyone feels or thinks about how I share my story. Don't agree with it? Guess what, I didn't agree with living them yet here we are so tough luck. All I'm doing is sharing shady acts that have been done to me or I have witnessed as I live it and society's real dangerous problems that should really get addressed yet everyone waits for tragedy.
How can we navigate towards a better society to prevent this from re-occurring over and over again? Why don't these stories make the news? One that everyone wants to ignore and I don't understand why or what it will take for society to take this topic seriously. I'm hardly the only one in Canada, let alone my own neighborhood. Luckily, these photos are not from my doorstep but my neighbors once again, different ones obviously but that is 7 homes burned down by arson in 6 months. # this time and 4 in another incident last fall. Then I be the harder to digest politically incorrect wannabe reporter...Well I prefer recorder of fuckedupery. As a society, we need to come up with solutions and fast. Make it easier for women to escape abuse and have the acts recognized for the crimes they are. Far too often, they get away with it to go harm unsuspecting others. Is your daughter or sister next?
I realize everyone was weirded out by me talking about waiting here to get burned down in my own house, just a few weeks ago. Was I being over imaginative? Was I being drastic? Dramatic? No, I have lived thru much more people even understand and met many psychopaths in my life and protecting oneself in this cold, loveless, godless world isn't easy. Here is a series a haunting photos to warm your spirit because if it's not in photos on the internet, it's not real. Weird 2024 mentality. I suppose I was born before the internet was mainstream so what do I know. Old lady mentality where our memory and story telling is all we had.
What's the tea? Well I don't know too much officially besides 3 units burned down by arson at 5 am and Fire Marshalls have done a walk thru. I don't know the official details or if it was handed over to police as part of a criminal investigation. I assume the Marshall took his own set of photos and mine would be irrelevant to their case but here they are just in case. These were taken at around 10 am. I'm not sure how I slept thru this ruckus but I did and woke up looking out the window like...WTF...again?
As far as the contents of the first floor, everything was incinerated. I obviously didn't go in because it's dangerous, just what I could get from the sidewalk, a fire like this would cause serious unknown structural issues and potential falling debris. The refrigerator barely made it thru. somehow a child rubber boot is the only thing that seems to have survived the inferno intact.
Although I am part of the old neighborhood wives true crime club. I lost my best porch analyzer when she moved but we were privy to some drug busts and a few arrests along with the a to z to a vehicle getting stripped with it's guts left on the sidewalk next to it with a dude in handcuffs. We observe and since many of us are long term residents, we know safety is everyone's responsibility, see something, say something. If cops don't care we can at least warn each other of the potential risks as they evolve or change as the years go by. Doesn't mean anyone cares but I at least do my due diligence to say something for the sake of learning from the information.
What I do know as fact is that about this time last year, the neighborhood was full of vehicles in a swat team manner and a man was arrested, I was on my way to work so all I saw was the police waiting both at the front and back door of that apartment and that it was related to trespassing and domestic related call with an abusive co-parenting situation from a former partner. From friend accounts, also not the only one has she had a few other female neighbors helping watch over her safety and report suspicious activity right away. So there a pattern and a trail of police reports have been well established and a known potentially dangerous situation to police.
Also a fact, an adjacent apartment was on the phone reporting suspicious activity to the police in the lady's backyard resulting in a response team being dispatched as the fire was being lit potentially reducing the response time and having better control on the fire before it starts to spread to other multi unit buildings. Was it the abusive co-parent ex partner? We don't know for sure since it's too early into the investigation but a good place to look since it's repeat behavior. If it's a long term established pattern, why wasn't he arrested or charged before? Why does she have by law to co-parent in a dangerous situation? Why can't victims trying to escape just start a new life in peace? We generally never find out as the public either unless it makes the 6 o'clock news...just un-noticed, just another day. Just another silenced woman, tolerating until someone cares. Will someone care enough to help protect her now?
Looking at a close up of the photo above, on the fence towards the house. I'm no fire expert but the char on the wood is much different then the char further down the fence. My analysis, it burned hot! no joke tho. Accelerant perhaps? Point of origin? The charcoal edge on the board is textured different than any other burned wood including on the window's edge where it should have burned in the same location but above. Different wood and thickness also a factor in the differences but just the black is much blacker in the one corner.
The fire on the fence burned so hot that it melted siding on the adjacent building just with the radiant heat generated.
Just thinking for a minute, not an accusation or an exact cause of the incidents or who dun-it, that will take a few weeks for the cops to figure it out even if they do decide to open a criminal investigation and we have the potential to find out for sure but lets explore the likely scenario presented at first glance, is a narcistic parent demented enough to set their own children, their own blood on fire mid-sleep, put at risk 3 other families just to harm an ex-spouse out of spite and revenge? YES, the question, why does it have to get this far before it is taken seriously?
I use parent because yes, a predominantly women problem but in some cases men are subjected to this sort of abuse too, this case was a women and as an activist against my own abusive encounters I tend to speak on the topic as a woman's point of view using my experiences lived or watched to educate others on hard to discuss topics in the hopes society wakes up and evolves, does better. Builds a world where women trying to escape have one in the first place. There is critical breakdowns in so many areas. Clearly looking out after one another is still something, something we don't do enough of in society. Everyone likes to say you are your brother or sisters keeper but hardly anyone truly lives by these words, mostly just sounds nice. We only help when there is something in it for us. What if it were to show up next door?
This video was filmed and obtained from another neighbor, early riser. Not much of a social media guy and not going to name him but the video isn't mine. Just for the sake of having whatever details of the situation in one post...never know when it could become evidence if ever needed. Doubtful because the fire was set on the other side of the complex but never know. All the photography is mine tho, just the video isn't.
Luckily, this time, everyone escaped the 4 units mostly unharmed, maybe a few scratches but no major burns or lives lost. This time. The lucky ones. As for the stuff well that sucks and at least 3 of the 4 units were damaged bad, the two beside were mostly damaged on the inside with minimal outside damage but the video I obtained from my neighbor, the fire was burning hot on the roof at the very end unit so it would be badly damaged just the same.
Now part of my own processing of the event, well it's an escalading disturbing feeling watching my awaiting reality happen to others around me. Will it be my fate too? Just slowly watching other women get harassed and harmed unfairly until it's my turn. It's a bit dark and heavy to think about. Unlike you, I can't afford to look away. somedays I wonder if God hates me or if he's showing me atrocities so I know what to look out for, how to build a just in case scenario. Maybe I'm the only one that tries to give them a voice.
When I woke up, I had my morning coffee and it was quickly interrupted and even with my sprained leg, I managed to hop my way there and take photos, to record, not really knowing much yet. Not too many adults out but a bunch of unsupervised kids. Young ones too. I started doing my thing, next thing you know I had an entourage of 4 to 8 yr olds, it was before they even secured the scene, the fire was just put out. The water was still leaking from the ceiling. I'm not sure they knew what to think of it like their first train wreck, looks terrible and gruesome but can't look away. The fact that nobody got hurt made it easier to digest and maybe more inquisitive about the carnage and just how fast it all burned down to a crisp.
That's where children would be likely to be sleeping upstairs.
Maybe knowing an adult being there was their chance to get a closer view and do their own inspection with someone that they can ask questions to and know what is safe or not. Can't say I have ever been asked so many questions but now I know what teachers feel like. I did enjoy giving them a bit of a fire lesson. The metal door that was all curled up un the heat, how all the stuff inside got burned and melted. That stuff makes toxic things you don't want to touch or breath and all the bla bla bla so they know to keep a safe distance even if the fire is out.
Naturally, some of the children in the 3 units were their friends, one boy may have fell thru the burning stairs while going down to escape, he's the potential minor injuries. Young kid. 5 years old maybe. Obviously now they had their own sharable life experience to better relate on important fire safety things while the incident was fresh in their minds. At the end of the day, it could still happen to just about anyone anyway, good things to know. But now it was important learning lesson on never enter a burned house after a housefire.
Of course a 4 to 5 year old wants to touch and visit the carnage first hand to see what stuff survived. Well, she did not get her wish I tell you! But memorable moment nonetheless. I explained to her why I wouldn't grant her Majesty Little Cutie Misses how she would not be taken on a guided tour and why. Just like her friend when he was coming down the stairs, we don't know how solid the floor is and since everything else is burned, she could fall thru so only inspectors are allowed to go. Stuff could fall from the ceiling, given water was still dripping, it smells like wet burn...Yucky...Pew.
It was a bit memorable because I could tell she was a new Canadian resident and making assumptions since I live in a predominantly Muslim neighborhood, I'm going to assume she spoke and understood Arab better, yet was captivated by my warnings and mini education session on where to safely inspect from as a citizen, perhaps her brother or friend was translating it for her as I went to make sure she understood properly. Talk about team work. It was cute to see him look out for what I assume was his little sister, he didn't seem much older. Kids naturally tend to help each other, we are born doing it as second nature. Why do we lose our compassion for others? At what age do we loose our humanity? That piece of our should that compels us to help others instead of harm them?
Now as I walked to the back of the building to see where it was damaged the most, well I somehow found myself moving with an entourage, I guess they must of liked my impromptu fire safety school. The next question proved to be an really important one to know. You know, as a mentor in the trade, we adopt the mentality of there is no dumb question and things become so second nature to us that we may not realize to share our simple knowledge yet important.
Since that one unit out of the 4 is ok, the people could just stay there and will go back home soon? HMMMM...no little one. Even if the one 4 doors down is the only one on fire, everybody get out right away. Stuff isn't important, wake everyone up and get out. He was stunned. Really? he replied with. Yes young man. Really. Only go back after firemen tell you it's ok. And that probably wont be for a few days or weeks. Probably takes a bit. Oh. I hope my friend comes back soon then.
Lesson with the kid story, are parents trying to shield children from some of the harsh realities of life could become a problem in the event of a critical situation? If they don't know how to react, that can be make or break. A kid that goes to wake up his family and they all escape, these stories happen all the time too. Because they knew what to do. Somebody took the time to explain. I know 5 is young but clearly, they are not outside the realm of danger of these same realities we try to prevent them from awareness as long as we can. shield their innocence while they still have it, before that vanishes up in smoke too in today's society.
Another burned up bedroom. I'm pretty sure you can hear the windows exploding from the heat in the video above.
Should parents spend time crafting a safety plan and practice so they know what to do clearly? You know, just in case. How young can fire safety be implemented? My uncle was a firemen and first responder and ended his career as a Fire Marshall so I suppose fire safety was drilled into me the moment we met. I suppose it's not something I overthink, I know the important things, be prepared just in case, fire extinguisher and all that stuff...Yes Uncle Yes. I see you have a backyard fire-pit. Let me go grab my measuring tape, it looks awfully close to the fence. UMM lucky...it barely gets a pass. A pass is still a pass Uncle. There is no free pass. Battery check in both fire alarm every visit. Carbon Monoxide monitor...Good girl. Where is your fire extinguisher? Right over there...see that red thing on the shelf? Yes...Good Good.
One thing still nagged at me today. Was I prepared enough tho? With 2 story houses, we tend to make jokes about to reassure our mind, maybe minimize the disturbing reality. What if I'm trapped on the second floor...do I jump out ad hit the concrete steps? Do I tie a bunch of sheets together and rope burn down? do I just accept my fate and burn with the ship? Having to choose last minute, which would I choose? Hard to say. These days living here looks more and more like the purge so I suppose you never know if you have the will to survive another thing just to get thrown into a thousand more of life's bitter disappointments caused by a degenerating society or just accept what is and burn too just for the sake of being done.
In case I was interested in a last ditch effort more than going down with the ship somehow at the last minute since you never really know until faced with the decision, a smart buy was a set of 15 foot aluminum rope ladder that installs on a window sill in an emergency and deployed by pulling a rope. Now that I think of it, why didn't I get this before. Nothing like a 5 year old going thru the burning stairs trying to escape to revisit this little situation. I'm much heavier than a 5 yr old.
Now that I have covered the little things, back to the abusive situations. Often times the court ignores repetitive abusive situations even when the police are called and scared mothers are forced in co-parenting in extremely dangerous situations with the constant threat and risks of having them taken away or to take drastic measures to prove unsafe environment often involving different forms of abuse even when not living together. Non contact orders are hard to get in these situations. A clause in our lease says if there is a police commotion, it results in immediate lease termination.
Last year on my way to work, there was a SWAT type event and a trespassing man was escorted off the premises in a domestic dispute. She got lucky under the new management and didn't face repercussions of that such but many other large apartment rental companies have the same clause with that sort of incidences attracting large or consistent police involvement and violent disturbances. Why does women trying to find safety and independence from abusive partners further penalized with housing instability based on a trespasser's actions they are bound to? Forcing a woman to move over and over again like that is harassment.
Under the old management, I have seen it with my own eyes, an abused woman called the cops on her partner after he smashed her head into the wall a few times in a fit of rage and trashed her apartment completely. She and her 4 kids lost too that day. I get resident safety and property damage is important to keep as a priority but talk about getting the raw deal with that scenario. One that she was bound to by court and co-parenting. One that could have been avoided if the laws to protect women were better or taken seriously in the first place.
It's a form of financial abuse. Moving is expensive, time consuming and draining, especially over and over again so is interfering with someone's work to prevent them from being stable and getting a bad reputation to be bound and forced back to the abuser or lose the children to foster care by a parent that is simply looking to get back at the mother for rejection. Why isn't that punishable by law? If so why isn't it then? Using courts excessively with bogus claims or created situations to drain with lawyer fees, wasting time and resources along with wasting valuable court time that is already in short demand. Tactics are endless. Creating unsafe situations where there is no means for the mother to ever get peace or safety then reporting them as unstable. Some people just can't take the word NO gracefully.
Often times court systems play right into the abuser's false claims over and over. I understand a strong father presence is important in children's lives and don't promote restricting sound minded individuals in being in their children's life but where do we draw the line at where it's too harmful to do so and not in the best interest of either the children or mothers. Why force a woman to maintain co-parenting relationship when the father is setting their house on fire while they are sleeping in it? He clearly doesn't even care about the children either. The one that smashed their mother's face thru the wall while they watched probably didn't care about his children much either.
When do we begin to hold the courts and police responsible for sitting back when there are clear risks and reports and to just leave someone seeking assistance in known unsafe conditions for the sake of well co-parenting especially when lives are lost or units burned down or somebody gets harmed. How about all the other innocent residents also affected...What about them? Inaction over the many women trying to leave abusive cycles also harms the community as a whole. We do we have a justice system that lacks ownership when making decisions to not provide safe conditions and no contact requests for trespassers. Isn't using the law to keep somebody in harmful conditions illegal?
We punish the abused women with having to move out of her apartment because she caused a scene with his abuse so her and her children must leave and face further trauma and hardship because they thought they were with a nice guy until he really wasn't, just an image that he no longer cares to uphold with that specific person out of pure spite. Why is it the woman's fault? Why not arrest the aggressor? You know, the violent one? Why force women into co-parenting with maniacs? When has that been for the best interest of the child? Shouldn't we be concerned what they may be learning as future adults of society, if they make it that far ... wait...that would make too much sense. If only we lived in a perfect world and women had the right to not be hunted or burned down in Canada and raise their children in a safe environment. Poor fucking country and it's supposed to be one of the good ones.
Was that a little too real for Y'all, probably...just in case this wasn't real enough and you still think I'm fucking around and women are so safe in North-America? Here is where shit gets real. This video from you-tube tru crime section below is graphic but I had been looking for way to fit it into an awareness fitting posts and this might be it. This tragic story goes down in the US but both of our systems are equally flawed in so many ways. Here is Judy's story. The Origin point of on of the latest called Judy's Law. This video below really isn't for the faint of heart, but most people these days it has to be on the news or it's just some dumb story by some unstable hysterical woman and that's the sad reality, help never comes until it's too late. Protections are never put in place until a tragic event. Here is how real the problem is and how desperately the justice system needs to update and reform it's laws and become more knowledgeable on handling delicate co-parenting situations where safety and abuse is a factor.
For a short synopsis, she was set on fire by her partner after a public dispute at a gas station, he doused her in gasoline set her on fire and burned 90% of her body where he almost got away with it with manipulative tactics except she was strong enough to live and revolutionize law by testifying to her own murder trial before she died of her injuries. Too learn more, I recommend watching the video but it's very real, very triggering. I'll be honest, I cried for most of it but it's an eye opener for anyone to learn more on the subject and just how real it is. Maybe not for you but for someone out there. Her story deserved to be shared.
Now just a few days after I shared a part of my disturbing story of women being hunted for sport like an exotic animal while unhinged woman hating cults continue to kill and harm, a big story broke out and made headlines, perhaps another landmark case, using whatever justification actually laughing at the justice system and it's lack of recognition of crimes against women. Admitting to raping and killing 4 women and calling them mercy killings and did it to see how many he could get away with before the justice system steps in and is now pleading insanity. Here are some of the disturbing news footage of the reality because it sounds unstable unless it's all over the news. Well here we go folks...Enjoy the reality many women live in.
Oh wait, here is another cute story as to how safe it is to be a woman in Canada. Everyone meet Robert Pickton, If you are Canadian, I'm sure you haven't lived under a rock. For the rest of the world. murdered 26 + women in cold blood and eligible to apply for day parole recently after what...10 years in prison? Wow! Well after the release of this news he got severely attacked in jail and now in a coma in the last few days. Who know what will happen here now.
Alright, I know you genuinely hate this type of content but I hate these types of vile acts and how is it that it takes so many victims for anyone to act. These men were also reported several times and know to police. It wasn't exactly breaking news even if they say it is. It's disturbing that things are allowed to escalade and go on, often the aggressors get away with it. These are the rare cases that actually make the news but far from unique.
Maybe I'll shut up about it when society starts to see it for what it is and does better. This is shameful especially for a country like Canada. Where rights only sound nice and apply to a select few citizens, just not all. Not the ones we don't care about.