I know I am not the only girl that fell a victim to violence and coercion in love, but they keep quiet. Instead of protesting, most of us keep quiet. The coercion of the boyfriend is accepted as destiny. In the first two years of the relationship, I also suffered from everything that most girls do.
In fact, I loved him more than myself, and that was the reason even his violent instincts did not open my eyes. When I showed my resistance, he became violent, and forcefully engaged in physical relations with me. I was facing all this because I thought that he would improve and that everything would be fine after marriage. But that was my mistake, and I myself am responsible for what happened to me.
Our relationship started in Pune. I met him during my studies. He was my senior, and within a year, we got into a relationship. And then lots of things started happening between the two of us. Whenever I was sick, he took care of me. He was doing everything for me.
I was staying in a hostel with my friend, and they both came from the same place. My friend used to praise him so much that I got attracted to him. Rocky was always the center of our conversation. He always remained at the center of everything. Things would start with him and end with him.
I don’t know when and how I fell for him, but he looked completely different from the rest of the boys in my circle. I started sharing everything with him. If I did not talk to him for even a day, I felt so lonely. I don’t know why, but I felt excited while talking to him.
I started spending hours with him. when his final year of college began. Right now, I am feeling a lot different about him, but at that time, the same face seemed completely different and completely innocent to me.
I have a long list of memories, but let me begin with the day when we returned after watching a film. We did not go to the hostel but went straight to his room. It was his plan, and I, too, had no objection. We brought in packed food from outside.
After dinner, we did a lot of chitchat and then went to sleep in another room. Now I don't remember how many dreams I saw when in his arms. But he wanted something else, and I was not prepared for that. I didn’t even think of anything like that. So when he started his moves, I got furious and tried to go to another room. I was so scared that it shook my whole body as he pulled me back and gave me a slap.
Tears kept flowing from my eyes. My mind was numb. He was abusing my body ruthlessly, and I was absolutely helpless. I wanted to shout, cry, and hit him in the head.
I was broken inside, and all I was doing was satisfying his sexual hunger. My tears, numb body, and sobs meant nothing to him at that moment. I kept crying till three o’clock that night, and he did not even try to calm me down. On the contrary, he was sleeping on the other side of the bed.
The next day, I told him everything. I couldn’t believe what he said. He said that this is a common thing in a relationship that I’ll forget in a week. I was so angry that I didn’t even want to see his face, but his innocent talks on his phone calls, and messages of apology. I don’t know what happened, but I could not end my relationship with him.
This happened again and again, as I could not resist him. He was with me as and when he wanted to have a physical relationship, and at that time, he would become an animal. He didn’t even hesitate to hit and abuse me. It continued, and the day arrived when he had a farewell party in college. That day, he again tried to do what he had done the day after watching the film.
After that, I distanced myself from him. He kept calling me, but I tried my best to avoid him. I hated him then, so after I finished college, I moved to another city and started working for a private company.
Then I saw him at a wedding in Chennai, where he was also invited. I tried my best to keep a distance from him, but he was acting as if he hadn’t done any wrong to me. I didn’t even want to see his face, but he was trying his best to start a conversation.
Suddenly, he came close to me and grabbed my hand. As soon as I touched him, I was shaken to the core. My whole body started sweating and trembling as I moved away from there. He was smiling and his face looked innocent, but I knew, he was no less than a murderer who was hungry for my body and nothing else. He gave me sedative for his ill intention.