Where do I start?
A lot has happened in 3 years. I met that girl at a family function on 28th April where I saw her after a long time. I did not know who she was, but it was a family function and I could not ask anyone. I asked my brother who she was, he said that ___ girl; my reaction was very different because she has grown so much. I was a bit stalked but I was happy to see her, I do not know why, but I was. I also talked to her a little at that time, but not one to one conversation, group conversation.
Then I searched for her on Instagram and I followed her, but I did not message her. I was very hesitant for two days. I messaged her after doing this, she also replied to that one word I was thinking a lot about writing this because if one word was wrong she would think something wrong, I used to think so but it does not happen generally like this. When for the first time a boy talks to a girl, whom he likes, he pays a lot of attention, he does not feel bad or a girl could not understand, that girl was quite different from me, whatever I used to say, she would say the opposite. Still I liked her nature as well. I liked everything.
Generally I am not like this, I do not like to change for anyone, yes, but this is the first time with me I was feeling something very different from someone My day started going so good, I started being happy, we started having regular talks but we never met I used to plan to meet her but she would refuse, it had become normal for her to refuse, then that day agreed,
yes we would meet, yes I asked if I would definitely meet, she again said yes I was very happy that day, we decided, she would send me the address, she would meet me after school, she also told me the time, my house was 47 kilometers away but I was late, she had left the side of his house, I used to walk or run till she was there I was while eating, I took all the shortcuts, that's why I was late, I was calling but her phone was off, then I switched on the phone a little far from my house, I told her that I am not making fun of his school, I am lying, I am just joking, then where was I, that place was 2 km from me, I got lift from a unknown person, I told him that I have to go there but he had to go to the other side, I offered him convenience him, please take me, then he agreed to take me, then he took me, I was very happy, i took some money from my pocket, I gave it to him, I was very happy to see him, she was with one of his friends, she saw me I was shocked and happy too, then we talked a lot and were walking to her house, her friend's route was different, she left, then we both walked to her house, she maintained some distance while walking to her house, then we said bye to each other, we were very happy, after that it became normal for us to meet like this, I would still go to far away house, I never went so far for anyone, I kept going to meet her.
NEW CITY WITH RELATIONSHIP!!!
After some time her 12th exam was over, she went to Varanasi to prepare for NEET. On 14th June my cousin and his girlfriend went to Varanasi, we both decided that we will also go. My cousin prepared for NEET. Then one of my friends (Harshit), he and his sister also got ready to go. Harshit prepared for IIT JEE. On 17th June we went to Varanasi, we took a 2 BHK on rent there. I met that girl (Vaishnavi).
On 18th June we filled her girls hostel, went to eat ice cream. Then I dropped her at the hostel. Then we had to meet every 2 days. Video calls started happening which went on for 1 year I was not there, she used to live from my room 4 kilometers away, for 20 days I got a job, I had a known company (WFH), work from home, I went home, it was almost 340 kilometers away from our home town Vanarasi, then we started talking on video calls and calls, we did not meet for a long time, then I started meeting for months and I was preparing,
I did not even want to disturb her, when things got difficult, we started fighting because I was in a job, our free time was not matching, there used to be fights, I wanted to treat her like a girlfriend, but she wanted a friend, she was not able to become one with me, I had feelings inside me, not inside her, then Delhi, I used to travel to Himachal, Dehradun, Lucknow, and Bhopal and i used to do jobs. I would sometimes go to meet her in Vanarasi. Then we both used to enjoy a lot in Vanarasi. Visiting all the ghats, boating and temples. Exploring new places. Eating new things. I would not be able to explain that feeling in words. Then on 2 May 2023, I went home from Vanarasi. I had not met her for 3 months. I met her last February.
My uncle's son got married on 3 May. He was greater in Noida, my home is 1000 km away. I could not even go to meet her. I could not talk to her properly during brother's wedding. I went home on call. Then she would not talk on call, she only came in message mode. Now I want to meet her It is not happening, my office had also opened (WFO) Work from office which was greater than my schedule was in noida, I had moved to noida, I used to stay near the office, I had very little time to talk to her but at that time I started fighting over some small topic, I did not know, we used to fight even over 3 people because I wanted a girlfriend, I saw me as a best friend, our thinking was never the same as my,
I used to take this thing in a positive way, then I used to respect her decision, she used to be very scared of her mom and dad, did they get to know about all this, all these things did not matter to me and we both were distant family relatives too, the fight became a lot bigger Dec By 2023 our conversation came to a halt, she started saying such things which hurt me, she started doing such things as well, I did not know, I used to tell her to separate me, but she did not know why she was not able to separate herself, then we started finding each other's mistakes, everything was coming to an end, which I never wanted, nor will I ever want, the last conversation happened on 2 April 2024, the last conversation I got was on 28 March 2024, she will give NEET paper for the second time on 5 May,
I will see after that whether she will talk or not, I do not know what will happen, I made a lot of mistakes as well What did she do that caused a problem, yes I am very ashamed of those mistakes but it is human nature, yes mistakes are bound to happen, I don't know whether she will talk to me now or not, I know this much that I have to be with her, a lot has happened in the meantime, maybe something good has been done, I find something good in every bad thing, I have learnt from her, this is my voice but this is you.
Disclaimer: This post is originally written in Hindi and I have used Google Translator to tranlate the Hindi text in English.