Have you ever waited so long that even the clock seems to stop moving?
That’s what happened to me a few days back. I was all packed and ready for my journey back home. It was all joy and relief that my field work is over and now, I can go back home and rest a bit. But, the book of fate has something else for me. On my arrival at the bus station, I found out that my bus was delayed-not for a few minutes, but for six long hours.
Though it wasn't a big deal, but there was no electricity, no internet connection (remote area) and my phone was already dead. I wandered here and there in search of a power bank, but all in vain. My first thoughts were, “What am I going to do now?” I looked around the bus station, hoping to find something to distract myself. There were a few other people as well, but their destination wasn’t the same as mine. People came, sat for a brief moment and left. I felt hopeless and kinda scared. I kept on asking myself, why is it happening to me?
As time passed, this unplanned solitude started to feel more like a burden. The weight of being alone, not just physically, but mentally too. There was no one to talk to, no screen to scroll, not sounds in my ears. Just me, my silence and my own thoughts.
We humans are social beings, wired to speak, share, listen and be around others.
Slowly, something started to shift. I bought a biscuit and a cup of tea. I began to think deeply. It was this moment when I realized that the anxiousness-not being able to check the time, open social media or watch a video- was not boredom, but addiction. My brain craved for some sort of reward or challenge, searching for dopamine.
In that forced solitude, I discovered a hidden truth and felt shame.
We spend so much time trying to escape boredom that we forget how to just be.
How to sit with one’s own thoughts. How to observe the world around us. How to be present. That punishment became a quiet lesson. I laid down quietly using my bag as a pillow, staring at the ceiling.
This time, I wasn’t anxious, I wasn’t thinking of my plans ahead. I was just calm and thoughtless. The time went by slowly. Slowly? Yes, you can’t learn everything from a single moment, my brain, though calm, still craved.
Finally, the bus arrived and the journey began. I didn’t rush to charge my phone. Maybe, by that time, my brain had accepted this peace within myself. I just looked out of the window, quietly thinking. I knew that the noise would return soon enough. But, I had found something rare, something which meant the most.
.........
Thanks for sticking by!
What would you had done, if you were me?
PEACE 🕊