I'll never know pain,
I says to me heart.
My hands will not tremble
at the ribbon, nay the fleeting
perfume of the flowered brocade.
I'll not mope from room to room
stamping my hurt into the tiles.
I'll never know pain.
I'll stagnate myself in the muddy
bottom of my own self.
I'll hold no one responsible
for my failings. I'll never know
fear of losing something precious,
of feeling absence like an open
french window in my chest.
I'll never know the strange warmth
of another body on mine,
the amazing experience of conversing
with someone else besides my wall.
I'll never know pain.
It shall be a quiet life.
It shall be a quiet death.
I'll avoid every circumstance
of love and friendship.
I'll never mourn.
Let the reefs tear asunder,
let the mountains melt,
let the sky be milked off
all its light.
It'll mean nothing
because I'll never know happiness
and as such, I'll never know
what I miss and this hurt,
that terrible pain will never
be mine. I'll never know peace.