Alright, it has been years since I have last done one of these. The following is a lyrical parody, you can find the original song by pressing the name of it.
[Verse 1]
Chamillionaire - Ridin' Dirty
They hear me farting, they escapin'
My friends all think that I am quite unhealthy
They all think I am quite unhealthy
They all think I am quite unhealthy
They all think I am quite unhealthy
They all think I am quite unhealthy
My farts are so hard, they faintin'
My friends all advise me cuz I am quite unhealthy
All because I am quite unhealthy
All because I am quite unhealthy
All because I am quite unhealthy
All because I am quite unhealthy
My dad says he wishes he'd see me lean
I am fat and big and very easy to be seen
My friends are all nice and don't want to be mean
When my ass is blocking the view of a 50-inch tv screen
The prostitutes I rent, are like "what's that!!"
When they can't find my dick under all that fat
Instead, they find three dead dogs and a cat
Beneath my stomach is where China hid their covid bat
Girl, I am sensitive so please don't judge
I am just dreaming of a world filled with fudge
The remote got stuck under my ass with all the sludge
I end up watching the news cause I can't budge
[Chorus]
Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea - Problem
I got one dirty secret to tell you
I have constant diarrhea and can't do
Anything without having to poo
[Verse 2]
When the pizza's place closed
And the burgers are all sold
And the fries I saved to eat
Are all covered with mold
When the grease is all dried
Of the nuggets that I fried
And worst of all
A few blood vessels dried
You should now slowly retreat
And let me call Uber Eats
Cuz with this hunger inside
It will eat everything in sight
No matter how much it eats
There's no satisfying its needs
Otherwise, I will eat your lungs
Or feed on my own cum
When you serve me meat
With cheese-covered fries
It's when my demons hide
It's when my demons hide
Don't think you could eat
This whole food is mine
All alone I'll dine
This whole feast is mine
[Chorus]
Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea - Problem
I got one dirty secret to tell you
I have constant diarrhea and can't do
Anything without having to poo
[Verse 3]
Somebody That I Used To Know (feat. Kimbra)
Now and then I think of when I was thin
In those days I was able to find pants in my size
The doctor told me to eat some healthy food
I didn't listen now I have diabetes of type two
And now I often faint and my days I can't remember
You can be addicted to a certain type of sweetness
And end up eating a birthday cake alone, all alone.
The doctor screamed at me "What the hell dude?
You're killing yourself with all this food"
Now our only course of action for my arm to be dismembered
You didn't have to cut me off!! (Wow, I didn't need to change that one)
Treating my right hand like it was nothing
Now, who's gonna jack me off!!
I will need to pay some strangers for a hand of love
Couldn't you only cut the parts below
You're treating my arms like I just use them to count numbers
You didn't need to cut the other arm though
Now I need to get thin so I could give myself a blow