I woke up in the wee hour of this Sunday morning to an incredible news of all time from the Nigerian government. You’d be surprised they said something as loving as this to the citizen. I feel the need to awwn all day long.
I know for sure you might think the government would keep its mouth shut for a while after turning the country into a nearly suppose burial ground. But no, they decided to talk. I won’t blame them. No hard feelings here and I am not sad they brought in a President who promised to recruit 300 and 20 billion Nigerian youth as soldiers.
I don’t know what you think of our now-known but not yet sworn-in Mr. President but what I do know is that he promised during one of his campaigns to feed the 326 billion Nigerian soldiers a nice delicacy. He made mention of three delicious food which he called Boli (Plantain), Agbado (Corn), and Cassava which I look forward to as I restart my professional career as a farmer interested in planting these sweet heartened delicacies. But that isn’t why we are here.
What did the Nigerian government say that woke me up to the sound of my hands on my phone's keyboard you might wonder, but yeah I say to you… Wonder no more as Alice has taken the job of a wanderer with keen interest. Now, back to the message from the Nigerian government.
Screenshot from my phone.
According to the news sources I read with the screenshot above, the Nigerian government has deemed it time to conduct a “Census” of Nigerian citizens. I have to confess I am deeply touched by their concern for Nigerian citizens seeing how many souls were lost before and after the presidential election.
While reading this, I want you to please have this in mind. If by chance you were a literature student while in school, I am sure you might have heard the word, “Irony” and if not, please look for the meaning and bear in mind all my sugar-coated words of endearment to the Nigerian ever-highly respected government as the term, “Irony”. No hard feeling here.
Back to the main news of today’s Sunny Sunday morning. The Nigerian government decided to beg the citizens for funds to carry out the census activity. Right now, I cannot stop the awwwnnn sound that came out of my mouth. How loving of them to acknowledge the citizens in such a nice way.
Mind you, the citizens of this great country known as the giant of Africa “are in money”. They are literally swimming in money. Whoever told you stinking poverty is the overall accepted language in the country, please tell them I say that they are liars. You can tag me in such posts to counter the person's statement which I will gladly do.
As far as I am concerned the country’s citizens are very happy. I am serious about that. I mean, you shouldn’t be surprised if 99% of Nigerian news is full of skits. Haha. The citizens need to be happy, especially in this daring time when the government is looking toward the citizen to pay for funds needed to perform the census.
This is where I will be calling it a wrap on this "Caricature" of a post. Let's see if you can spot all the irony in each paragraph of the post.
Still yours truly,
Balikis.
Thanks for reading.
Peace be unto those that crave it and more to those that chase it away.