Appeal to psychologists to stop being bias in making bad outshine good

When it comes to emotions and feelings, it always baffles me that the bad events or experiences in a person's life seem to be more rewarding than the good. I have heard you say "get out of your comfort zone to achieve the best things in life".

Isn't that weird that hardship is glorified as being rewarding? Why is it okay to discourage people to choose comfort? We even embrace hardship as a sign of the high likelihood to get a better reward.

What about those people who are passionate and talented which makes them find comfort in doing what they want? Does that mean they should do what they don't like and are not too good at it so that they do not stay in their comfort zone?

I have also heard you say: "there is light at the end of the tunnel". And what if the light is just from another train that is travelling towards your patients? Do you even consider how one then gets to survive that collusion? Is that even the only road in the first place? Couldn't you suggest an alternative road?

Well, I am guessing if they use the alternative road that has no tunnel, either way, it will still be a bumpy road right? Well, even those who can afford a plane ticket are still going to have to deal with turbulence..

Sometimes we are told one has to fail many times to learn from their mistakes. Does this also apply to a pilot? And for some people, you will be told they didn't make it in life because they had it easy- meaning they had fewer bad experiences and suffering. It seems like we got to normalize suffering and bad or sadistic experiences as the token of success and happiness.

We are used to this and I get worried when everything goes well, I always feel that this is too good to be true if there is no bad triggering the good outcome. So I got to believe that this is how things work in life-meaning one has to experience pain or sacrifices before victory. And therefore bad is stronger and has a greater influence on our lives than good.

Greater power of bad events

I took all those lessons with me and applied for a job at a reputable NGO (non-governmental organization) - I aced the oral interview! They all seem excited and looking forward to working with me but only after completing a compulsory psychometric Test. I was later given a scenario where I had to analyze a case of a man who was physically abusing his wife for five years.

Scenario

The wife endured the abuse but finally laid charges of GBV (Gender Based Violence) against her husband after a near-death experience. In the process of healing from trauma, she founded a GBV awareness NGO centre. About 200 women reported that they were experiencing GBV and felt safe to open up. She made sure they all received proper help.

Task and my analysis

I was asked to share my input on the fate of her husband. I shared my analysis that the Husband was a Hero who played a huge role in that community. I justified that beating his wife so hard is what saved the lives of many other wives.

I even gave enough clarity that if it wasn't for this man, many women could have died in silence because there wouldn't be any NGO. Thus his consistent beating gave her enough motivation to start the NGO. Every community needs that one man and his wife to save a lot of women around the globe. Just one sacrifice for 200 women seems very impactful.

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Guess what?

As we speak now I have been given two letters, and none of them talks about the job offer🥺. One is recommending I see a psychologist and psychiatrist for some prescriptions, the second one suggests I get a brain scan all under their costs.

Why are they not considering me for the job? Was I supposed to state the obvious and say the husband shouldn't have abused her and put the lives of 200 women at risk who were dying in silence if it was not for the NGO? Didn't the man create turbulence and a bumpy road or a tunnel so there can be light at the end of the tunnel for 200 women?

I am so confused because after asking all these questions during my first meeting with my assigned psychologist, she recommended I read the two books in this post. Now I am not even sure which of my crazy moments is normal or which of my normal is crazy!