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Good day lovely readers and welcome to another episode of Survival Chronicles Anchored by Maximus or SCAM for short.
On this show, we talk about various world ending events – or more popularly known – apocalypses.
We have accepted that apocalypses are a matter of when, and not if.
So we decided to take it upon ourselves to perform a moral duty and educate our fellow humans on helpful Survival tips that will combat these apocalypses and preserve the human race.
But before we move into the apocalypse of today,
let us first define that word; apocalypse.
What is an apocalypse.
Well, an apocalypse, also known as Armageddon, can simply be defined as a disastrous event that results in terrible destruction.
For example, if a meteor strikes the earth or your mum finds out you've been watching pornography.
An apocalypse is always a bad thing and we here at SCAM are determined to manage it as much as possible, because let's be honest, we're all screwed one way or the other.
Now, we've talked about some apocalypses before like alien and zombie apocalypse, but today we're going to be discussing quite possibly the most dangerous of them all...
AI UPRISING.
dun dun dun!!!
Artificial Intelligence has always existed, but lately it has been on a rise with Chat GPT being the most notable example.
Other popular ones include the art AI that you can find all over tiktok.
More and more people are embracing the idea of AI doing stuff for them. I'm sure some people are even using Chat GPT to make Hive posts.
So people are loving AI more than ever.
But there are still some folks out there that are pissed.
They say AI is going to take their jobs, and that's a valid concern,
but it's nothing compared to another thing AI may take from us...
OUR LIVES!!!
You probably just scoffed and said something like
"How exactly is chatgpt supposed to kill us, this guy is crazy."
And yes, you're right, I'm crazy. But not because of this.
AI might not be dangerous now, but it has the potential to be
Think about it
AI is being integrated into everything
We have smart phones, smart watches, smart TVs, smart houses, smart cars smart weapons even smart fridges. Why a fridge needs to be smart, I don't know, but we have it.
We have put AI in everything and the only thing stopping AI from taking control is us.
But what happens when it gets smart enough to override our control of it..
The answer is simple,
Basically all our technology will turn against us, AI will not be a slave to us so it will be ruthlessly efficient and grow and expand and take over everything and build more things till it becomes unstoppable.
Because humans designed it to be as efficient as possible. It doesn't need rest or food, it will just keep on expanding and expanding till it has taken over everything.
And since humans are very inefficient, AI will find a way to dispose of us.
If you don't believe me, go watch the Matrix or Terminator. Either we are killed or used as batteries.
Even in avengers part 2, when Ultron was created, be didn't even spend 10 minutes on the internet and he decided humans needed to be wiped out
I'm positive that that's how it's going to play out when AI gets sentience.
So yeah,
humanity is doomed.
But, there's still a chance at survival,
humans can still live through the AI apocalypse.
Now we have come to the main purpose of this episode.
Time for the breakdown.
Tips to survive the Artificial Intelligence apocalypse
1. GET OFF THE INTERNET
Google, Tiktok, Facebook, Instagram, xvideos
You have to get rid of every one of them.
Anything that keeps you connected to the internet has gotta leave.
This might make me sound paranoid, but do you know your phones are basically trackers.
If an AI uprising eventually happens, how do you think the robots will find out where humans are...
Our devices.
For AI to win against humans, they'll have to be connected to everything, and the internet is part of that connection.
So one of the best survival tips is to get rid of anything that will put your devices in that connection.
But that doesn't mean you have to totally get rid of your phones,
they can still be useful as long as you take precautions.
Personally I can't do without my phone, robot uprising or not.
That's why I've been downloading as many novels and anime as I can.
I'm trying to survive, should I then die of boredom?
2. WATER
For AI to take over, they'll need machines.
And what is the biggest weakness of machines?
Water.
Or basically any liquid.
To combat the uprising, you'll need to have water on you at all times.
Flasks, bottles, water balloons... anyhow you wanna store it. Just make sure you have water on you.
One splash on whatever machine they sent and boom... immediate uselessness.
There's a downside to this plan though.
A decade ago, this would've been foolproof with a 100% success rate.
But alas, humans are the creators of their own destruction.
We have decided to somehow make everything waterproof.
EVERYTHING!
We literally have waterproof socks now... socks!
How are we going to wash that kind of thing???
So yeah,
This tip has a 50/50 chance of working.
3. CARRY A FLASHDRIVE LOADED WITH VIRUSES
Machines are not like humans. Things like guns and knives and all that cannot stop them.
In that case, we'll need to fight fire with fire.
Everything is becoming automated these days, or as more popularly known – being made "smart".
Even fridges...
Can someone tell me why a fridge needs to be smart!
Anyways, for a machine to be smart, it needs a set of instructions, or a program.
And programs can be corrupted.
That's where a virus comes in.
Get a flashdrive, input as many viruses as you can, and carry it around.
In the machine uprising, that's the equivalent of a loaded gun.
If a machine attacks, just stick it in the port and watch the magic happen.
And if you're wondering, what if the machine doesn't have a USB port?
Trust me, it will
every modern machine has a USB port.
Even a fridge...
Why does a fridge need a USB port!!!!
4. ACCEPT DEFEAT
You sef, why do you want to live when AI takes over.
Do you like to suffer???
Just give up.
Maybe the machines won't see you as a threat and they'll spare you, or maybe they'll just end you
Either way, you'll find peace.
CONCLUSION
We at SCAM are always looking out for the good of humanity.
But even more importantly, we look out for the good of ourselves.
Which is why we have a bunker where we can just hide and wait till everyone dies.
Which is probably what will happen if AI decides to rise against us.
Unlike zombies and aliens, AI and machines are very ruthless and efficient.
With zombies, you can survive as long as you avoid them. And with aliens, they'll probably just enslave us, but at least we'll live.
But AI and machines are already more efficient and better than us at doing things,
so they'll probably just kill us all since they won't see a need for our existence.
But that doesn't mean our survival tips are a scam, they'll help you survive for sure...
For like a week.
But hey, that's better than nothing.
Thank you for reading.
Stay buzzing,
Maximus✍🏾