Every day is a new day, every day I am learning something new, and realizing my self-value and opportunities. My biggest mistake in life was not believing in myself and I always paid attention to people. I have never spoken out for myself, never stood for myself and that is why when people see me, they always raise questions about my capabilities. I have ended up with a lot of realizations about myself lately. I realized my value and gathered self-confidence, now I know how to deal with everything, with new people. I wrote before that how my mental condition was bothering me so much.
Meanwhile, people thought I am weak and can't stand for my own dignity. I wrote before that my workplace is toxic and every day I end up my shift facing a lot of drama. No matter how noble work I am doing for the people, some never gonna appreciate it. I even realized that it's very hard for some people to say "Thank you". Some never appreciate my work, I don't expect anything from them, to be honest. I just focus on my work and life and after finishing my shift, I come back to my small room.
My friend who is still in Kharkiv recently visited my apartment. She informed me that all is okay so far, the surrounding is silent and only 5 people are living in the apartment building. Kharkiv is still under continuous shelling, yesterday there was a missile attack in the city center, and many streets are closed. Curfew starts at 6.00 pm and stays until 6.00 am. People finish their necessary work during day time and come back home before the curfew starts. She also said that people are doing daily basis activities and do not afraid of explosions and shelling anymore.
I am happy to know that my apartment is still safe but I don't have any information about my summer house. My summer house is located in the village near the Russian border so nobody wants to go there. I was thinking today am I willing to live in such living conditions !!! I don't know... Thinking about my home breaks my heart but when I think about my safety and future; I don't think going back to Kharkiv now it's the right choice.
Despite all the negativities at my workplace, I have met some nice people as well who understand me and don't judge me by seeing my look. A few days ago I met an individual called "Romero". He is south African, staying in the Netherlands for working purposes. He works with Mercedes Benz. He is a true gentleman and I always like talking to him because of his intellectual behavior. Our conversation started with greetings and later we started talking about job opportunities, life in the Netherlands, and many other things.
A day before yesterday Romero gifted me this red wine bottle from South Africa. I had decided to open this bottle with Romero and others who work at the hotel reception. After all, wine should be shared...
I am not a wine girl but when I heard that this wine was from South Africa, I decided to taste it. It was a bottle of good red wine and within half an hour, the bottle was finished.
It was a little party, we talked a lot while enjoying the wine. I was so surprised to see how people have considered me as a part of theirs, treated me nicely, and haven't discriminated as a refugee. I respect those who actually treat me well and respect me.
I came to know a lot about Romero's job life and was surprised when I came to know how many countries he has explored so far. He knows a lot of countries, cultures, and people as well. It was really a very good constructive evening with red wine.
I believe that in time my life situation will be better, I don't know the future so I can't say whether I am going to stay in the Netherlands for a long time or not. I will definitely go back home; if you ask me "when"; I don't have any specific answer.
It's getting colder every day in Almere, days are becoming shorter and nights are longer every day. Dark days are coming and soon I need to prepare myself for winter again...
Thank you so much for reading...
Love
Priyan...
I am @priyanarc.... An architect, a dreamer, and a passionate writer who loves to write about life. I try to present my own perspective and experiences. Please leave your feedback and criticism because it's the only way I can know and reach your mind and thought easily...
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